Any advice as I am passing my 8th month mark.
Any advice as I am passing my 8th month mark since my husband Smokey has passed away. Last night as I lay in bed I said to Smokey that I had to let him go. There will be no room in my heart if I keep holding on to him. It is not easy. Smokey was the love of my life. I was his as well. On Wednesday I discovered a two heart pendant in one had an inscription on the back of it saying "I Will Love You Forever." Well when I read the inscription, I just totally lost it and cried like I have never cried before and the pain was deep inside my very soul. Whenever anyone asks me how I am doing I say I am on the upswing. Even so, it still hits you very hard from time to time that my Smokey is really and truly gone. It is not easy. We take it one day at a time.
1. Bill: I had a crush on this guy named Bill who goes to Legends Bar. This last time I realized he really looks after himself and may he is too into himself or the other possibility is that he could be gay. He always sits at the bar counter with a group of friends. Last night Bill was sitting at his usual spot. He is talking with his guy friends and turns around to look at my table. Normally I would get paranoid at this time but now I don't really care or am trying to not care. I am curious and would like to know what they were saying. In the end, it does not matter at all. I was having fun and that is all that counts. We had flirted a few times but then it just came crashing down. I don't know what happened but now I don't think much of him anymore. Bill can get mad at me if he wants but if you don't ask a woman her phone number or ask her out on a date, there is nothing to it.
2. Mike: Hhe used to go to Richmond Station Pub. Smokey and I would sit with him at the bar counter. Smokey and Mike would talk usually about Keno and the numbers that were coming up. By the time we got there, Mike usually had too much to drink. Mike doesn't go to the Richmond Station Pub anymore and now goes to Legends. He is nice. Don, my brother, and I met Mike at Legends yesterday. He was one of the few people to ask me sincerely how I am coping with the loss of Smokey. Go figure! A guy who likes his booze to much nails it by asking how I am doing and feeling with the loss of Smokey. It is what I wanted. Wow! He is an attractive man who has never been married. There is something wrong with me as I always ask the man that I am talking to about his marital status. It is not that I am trying to hit on them but just want to know. Curious mind and all that!
It has been a while since I was single and learned thru Smokey to be more assertive. I am not hiding who I am anymore. I just blurt things out and see where they land. I am not offensive. Usually the guy answers my questions, which is pretty amazing when you think of it. Sometimes they ask me questions. All Bill did was say hello once in awhile and chit chat. It is just one bar patron to another bar patron. There is nothing to read into it. I am discovering who I am now as a single woman. I am discovering what I want now. The journey is interesting. I wonder if there will be anyone to join me in my journey. Interesting? I am not one to stay single for long. We shall see how the road is for me.
How is everyone else doing? Losing your partner is not an easy road to go down on and I would not recommend it to anyone. Has anyone else hit just past their own 8th month anniversary? How are you coping and what are you feeling these days? I am curious Diane
1. Bill: I had a crush on this guy named Bill who goes to Legends Bar. This last time I realized he really looks after himself and may he is too into himself or the other possibility is that he could be gay. He always sits at the bar counter with a group of friends. Last night Bill was sitting at his usual spot. He is talking with his guy friends and turns around to look at my table. Normally I would get paranoid at this time but now I don't really care or am trying to not care. I am curious and would like to know what they were saying. In the end, it does not matter at all. I was having fun and that is all that counts. We had flirted a few times but then it just came crashing down. I don't know what happened but now I don't think much of him anymore. Bill can get mad at me if he wants but if you don't ask a woman her phone number or ask her out on a date, there is nothing to it.
2. Mike: Hhe used to go to Richmond Station Pub. Smokey and I would sit with him at the bar counter. Smokey and Mike would talk usually about Keno and the numbers that were coming up. By the time we got there, Mike usually had too much to drink. Mike doesn't go to the Richmond Station Pub anymore and now goes to Legends. He is nice. Don, my brother, and I met Mike at Legends yesterday. He was one of the few people to ask me sincerely how I am coping with the loss of Smokey. Go figure! A guy who likes his booze to much nails it by asking how I am doing and feeling with the loss of Smokey. It is what I wanted. Wow! He is an attractive man who has never been married. There is something wrong with me as I always ask the man that I am talking to about his marital status. It is not that I am trying to hit on them but just want to know. Curious mind and all that!
It has been a while since I was single and learned thru Smokey to be more assertive. I am not hiding who I am anymore. I just blurt things out and see where they land. I am not offensive. Usually the guy answers my questions, which is pretty amazing when you think of it. Sometimes they ask me questions. All Bill did was say hello once in awhile and chit chat. It is just one bar patron to another bar patron. There is nothing to read into it. I am discovering who I am now as a single woman. I am discovering what I want now. The journey is interesting. I wonder if there will be anyone to join me in my journey. Interesting? I am not one to stay single for long. We shall see how the road is for me.
How is everyone else doing? Losing your partner is not an easy road to go down on and I would not recommend it to anyone. Has anyone else hit just past their own 8th month anniversary? How are you coping and what are you feeling these days? I am curious Diane
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