ANXIETY STINKS!
8-10-09: I am tired of being so anxious! I went on a great camping trip and enjoyed it. However, there was always this anxious feeling. It is like I am stuck in the fight or flight mode. I worry, worry, worry. I know worrying does no good and doesn't change anything. Adam told me it is driving him crazy. I just can't stop. I don't know what to do! On a brighter note, I did just get home from an awesome camping trip. It was arrainged by a friend of Scott's. They had been friends since kindergarten. He is the same "kid" that arrainged the houseboat trip last summer. Lots of Scott's friends were there. It was a crazy, noisy, funny, trip. Craig and I stayed an extra night just to enjoy the quiet. But, we all talked about Scott a lot and shared lots of stories. That was awesome. Sad, too. He should've been there. I floated, for the first time, in a canoe. I have done a raft before. Canoes are a lot of work! The river was wonderful. It was crystal clear and quite cool when first getting in. Craig and I crashed a few times but we never tipped. For that, I was grateful! There were seven canoes in our group. My Biddy Buddies were there, too. So much fun but not too peaceful. This weekend was very busy, on the river. It was like rush hour in a major city! Really. There were so many canoes, rafts, tubes, and swimmers. We had to dodge and weave most of the time. However, the scenery was beautiful. We took several breaks just to get out and swim. I wish my camera was waterproof! On the second day we went to Johnson Shut-Ins. It was great. Lots of rock climbing, though. These old muscles are TIRED! I did take several photos there. It is an amazing place. I go back to work next week. I am not ready! Hopefully I can stay home the rest of this week and just relax. I will have to work at making that happen! So, once again, the good with the bad. Guess this is just life.
Replies
Sometimes I have that anxious feeling too and it\'s hard to distinguish if it\'s justified or just the past rearing it\'s ugly head. Sounds like overall you had a great time and how fun to reminisce with Scott\'s old friends. What great friends he had in his life. Sorry you have to go back to work so soon. Try to relax and get ready. Love to you. Robin
It sounds as if you had a wonderful time. I\'ll look forward to seeing some photos. I wish I could just say to you, \"don\'t worry, everything will be ok,\" but I know it wouldn\'t do any good. It is draining living with anxiety. I hope you manage some rest before going back to work. Love always, Charlotte. x
It sounds like you had so much fun! I have been to the Johnson Shut-Ins and also the Elephant Rocks State Park. I lived with a man for two years who eventually left to help his widowed mom in Missouri. He is still there. They own Trump Lake Resort in Centreville, MO. It is a campground and also has a tavern. I know the anxious feeling, I am thinking of seeing a doctor about what to do about it. Hugs, Belinda
Good for you! When I was at my worst w/ anxiety, I could not leave my house ! So,you are brave! The treatment I\'ve been on since 1995 is zoloft 25 mg/day. it really gave me my life back to a certain extent,,,the dose could be upped and i would have less anxiety. i take low dose of xanax as needed also,,,,especially when traveling!!
The anxiety does stink and I don\'t know why some times are worse than others. I do take a xanax once in awhile when needed and it really does help. Glad you had a good time and shared in some good Scott stories. That is always refreshing. Hope you get some rest so you will be ready for next week....Hugs, Kim
Sounds fun yet scary, but I am glad you had a great time and able to spend time with Scott\'s friends. I value the time I am able to spend with Chad\'s friends.
Sounds like you had a great weekend. I wonder if that feeling of anxiety comes from the feeling of losing something or in our cases someone. Don\'t stress over work, it is what it is and you love the kids. Love and hugs Cathy
OKAY EVERYBODY - READ THIS - YOUR ANALYSIS OR DOCTOR IS NOT GOING TO TELL YOU BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW. THEY ONLY KNOW TO GIVE YOU A PILL FOR THAT WORRY OR ANXIETY. THE UNIVERSAL LAW ON THIS MATTER IS AS FOLLOWS: YOU CAN NOT HAVE WORRY OR ANXIETY UNLESS YOU HAVE A FEAR FIRST. WORK ON WHAT THAT FEAR IS OR MIGHT BE - AND COME FROM A POSITION OF TOTAL SUPERMAN OR SUPERWOMAN STRENGTH OF \"NO FEAR\". Just think how silly fear really is....it says, you have NO power and YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE. Maybe, you like hiding behind your fears because you are getting something out of them.
Example: Like FEAR (worry, anxiety) that you are going to be late for some appointment, WELL ASK YOUSELF: WHAT ARE MY INTENSIONS? If you are always late, that is your intensions, get off your sorry ass and PUT SOME NEW INTENSIONS out there in front of you. THEN IF YOU ARE LATE, \"so what\", it is also \"what\'s so\": YOU CAME HERE TO EXPERIENCE THAT. NOW THAT YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED IT....Keep it if you like it....or dump it, if you don\'t. SEE HOW EASY THAT IS. REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE STRONGEST PERSONS THAT I KNOW (other than myself) and I GIVE YOU THAT HONOR AND RIGHT. Start looking at the ROOT CAUSES - I call it \"thinking in congruent parrallisms\", you will go past your doctors, your friends, and most of those on our solar system.
at the beginning of my recovery i was always very anxious of stuff. then i had to figure out what was making me anxious, was it the fact that i would be late? forget? not be able to figure out where i was giong? miss out on something? not be able to do it right? FAIL? I had to realise there are things i can control and things i cant. i started keeping a very detailed calendar at the time. when i had to be somewhere (i ride the city bus) i figured out exactly where i had to go, and figured out the bus schedule for the time i had to be there. all the rest of the things that i had no control over i had to let go. i learned to let God be there for me and let Him have the reins! then everything started going smoothly in my life. the anxiety calmed down, dont get me wrong i can still get very anxious especially when things are out of my control, but then i just have to remember to trust in our Lord and things will happen - or they wont, it is all in His hands. Julie
Well, I am so sorry about the anxiety...I have a \"slow boil\" going on in my body a lot of the time as well. I just try to distract myself...which is what you have been doing. Maybe talking to someone could help...or even some meds. It sounds like you did have quite a fun on the camping trip. Love to you...Karen
I hear you. I have a constant pit of my stomach feeling, even if I\'m having a good day. I wonder if it\'s because something really bad happened to us, and in our minds we know it can happen again and we don\'t ever want to re-experience that pain. I don\'t know, but it\'s always there. I\'m glad you had fun on the water though. Water is so soothing somehow. Hugs, Julia
I\'m not being superwoman today. I have been crying all morning. See my journal posting. I had forgotten my GOD BASKET....THANK YOU JULIECRAWFORD. i WILL MAKE MYSELF A NEW ONE RIGHT NOW AND TURN THESE SORES OVER TO HIM. I DON\'T THINK THIS IS ANXIETY. Just \"SITUATIONAL\' DEPESSION. HANG ON IS WONDERING IF SHE CAN HANG ON - OR, maybe I just need a day of crying all day to get it all out and get back to my strong self. Please help me cry. I have some anxiety pills somewhere. I will take one of those too. I might as well get doped up today. Because, the Doctors do not care. My physcriatric office just referred me to another dematologist who takes no insurance. Now, I have the appointment with one for 9/1 and I have beem waiting 2 months to see him. I love LOUISE L. HAY \"YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE\". SHE SAYS: CONDITION: Skin Problems PROBABLE CAUSE: ANXIETY. FEAR..OLD GUCK. I AM BEING THREATENED. (how true all this was, but I\'m over that now, but the sores will not heal. AFFIRMATION IS: \"I declare peace and harmony indwell me and surround me at all times. All is well\" God help me, I can not stop crying and I\'m not the Pity Party type, and I know anxiety is only caused by FEAR....and, I have no FEAR of those SOB brothers of mine and will shoot to kill with all the PEACE and HARMONY that I can muster up. I just don\'t know what is \"inside me\" that made by two brothers treat me so mean...Life is a Mirrow. So now, the old brother has skin cancer - well his is cureable....and, so far, mine is not. But, amazing the mirrow works and we both have skin problems. I must be a threat to him of some type. That mean SOB was never affraid of anything, so I don\'t think that he is affraid of little old (67 year old feme sole). I have not spoken to him since 1/10/09, and I hear he is back to drinking (with his Hepatitus C-Liver problems, this is not good). If he is drinking, he may \" way lay\" me like he did once before. The plastic surgeons had to sew my ear back on and he kick me so many times in the face, it took around 1300 plus stches. BAD SNAKE HE IS. I forgave him once again, and did not put him in prison because his record is so long,, they would have kept him forever for \"attempted murder\". After they let me out of the hospital, he came into my house carrying a mangum 44 and my little 4\'4\' neighbor stopped him and totd him she had called the cops with that he left. I still forgave him, and after the rape his daughter, I got him out of prison. I should have left him there, and then he could not hurt me so badly after our father died 3/28/09. I am just in a SAD PLACE today. If it were not for the GRACE OF GOD, I WOULD BE DEAD. I MUST HAVE FAITH NOW THAT THE GRACE OF GOD WILL HEAL THESE SORES and the strength of superwoman \"to move on with my life\". If the doctors can not heal the STAPH infection which is the current diagnoses that the GRACE OF GOD CAN, AND IF HE DOES NOT, THAT I CAME HERE TO EXPERIENCE THAT TOO - AND LEARN FROM IT. I guess, it is going to bring me to my knees until I can reclaim the missing parts of my soul.....SOUL RETREIVAL will heal the body too. Maybe, I will just work on my SPIRITUAL SELF TODAY. Thanks for listening. The picture that I finally figure out how to post today is a picture of me when I was 21-22, and I modeled until I was 30. I have lived a wonderful and varied life. Yes, I probably could have done better, but considering I was raised to \"love my abusers\", I have done pretty good. As a child, I was forever threated with the fear of \"ABANDONMENT\" They even tried to sell me once. They did abandon me emotional, not loving you is a special kind of \"abandonment\" . I could go on and on, but now is a time for healing. I forgive the past, I live in safety, peace, and above all \"I love me\" now. I what I am and I accept that. I am a working on being more, but I accept the me that I am right now. My friends (few as they are) reflect the good feelings I have about myself. I love and approve of all that I am...a child of GOD. i made my decisions based on the principles of TRUTH, AND I REST SECURELY knowing that \"right action\" is taking place in my life. I can here to experience all of this, and go beyond it. It is safe to be me. I allow the love from my own heart to wash through me and cleanse and heal every part of my body, situations, and my emotions.Life is always changing and I forget the old,,, adapt easily to the new, knowing it is for my highest good. I am at PEACE NOW. I will now mediatate among the void between the stars where the Universal Mind exist, and knowing that I can receive from this source, I will become more enlightened. Close your eyes, go way out there, ask your question, and know that the answer will come. In 1980, I was much better at taping THE SOURCE OF ALL KNOWLEDGE and wiuthout a degree in anything, I was allowed by the TX Board of Public Accountancy to sit for the CPA exam because some of highest and most honorable persons here in Houston had written the board and ask them to let me take the exam and told them that I was quiet bright, well, they let me, and as I took all parts I knew that if anyone in that room or anyone in the University knew the answer then I could know the answer. I pasted with flighting colors. I then ran my own CPA company for 20 years. No one every asked where I got my degree. I would have said: from the Universe. Anyone can learn anything. I am open to learn from what I am experience now. On October 8, 2007, my ex-husband (we were divorced 27 years), whom I was nursing, died in my arms and he told me how much he loved me before he died, then my 2 cats of 9 plus years died, then my father died 3/28/09, all that is 5 months, and I came down with phuemonia, I learned that I can handle this too, and that I (the God Force within) can heal it even if the doctors can not. I have healed myself many times from the impossible: Diabetic in my 20\'s-gone, Cateracts 7 in left eye, 4 in right eye and thick glasses - gone (only have reader\'s now) , spot on my left lung and one on the right lung - gone - the doctors could not even tell I smoked from the x-ray in Jan. 09, my latest doctor */4/09 said: \"I have the blood of a 20 year old\" but my throid was low, oh yes, my teeth, Dentist said I would lose both upper sides because teeth were no longer attached to the bones, guess what, they are now all tight and don\'t wiggle around anymore. What else? Yes, I have healed the depression before only to have it return - the depression must be a learning tool or something. Okay, I will shut up - I call my form of thinking CONGRUENT PARRELLISM.(CP) iT IS deep thinking, past postive thinking, past a lot of the current metaphysical teachers out there today. It will even get you past BI-POLAR...because it requires you to go to the root cause of everything in the Universe. Thanks for listening and if I can ever be of help, I am robbiehammel@hotmail.com Ps. The doctor for 9/1 just called and they will see me today at 3:30. Thank You.. See miracles do happen.