Anxiety Attacks
It seems that every time I try and go into work, I get an anxiety attack. I don't know why. I haven't been to work since last Tuesday. Well, I only missed one day (Friday) since I'm off weds/thurs and mon/tues were holidays. I need to go to the clinic to get my meds on Monday before noon when it closes. I might as well go into work. I'm just scared... Of what I don't know. I also need to get Geo in to see the doctor.. he's out of pills as well. I hope he can get a refill on Monday and be able to see the doctor. He has to go as a walk in since he doesn't have an appointment.
I've been okay with my weight.. stuck at 215.4 for a couple days now... I've been so hungry! I don't know why.. I haven't been eating a whole lot, but I'm more hungry after I eat. I had chicken and veggies for dinner, and then a couple hours later some noodles and more veggies. And I'm still hungry! I've been sleeping all day again for the last couple of days. From midnight or so to 2pm. I just keep waking in the middle of my sleep and I can't fall back asleep. Last night I couldn't sleep from midnight to 1-2am. I'm not sure which. I had just fallen asleep when I woke up. Sucks!
I need to stop sleeping so much...I need to limit myself to 10-12 hours a night. I know that seems like too much for a lot of you, but if I get less I start to go hypomanic. I have klonopin for sleep and anxiety... I took one yesterday when I wanted to go to work and say screw the panic attack, but all it did was make me go back to sleep.
I've been depressed lately... going lower as each day passes. I'm scared I'm going to be in the hospital by New Year's Eve, but I'm determined to start the year out right and not go in the hospital unless I really need it. I went too many times in 2012, I don't want to go at all in 2013. I plan on doing that by taking my meds and talking to my doctor and therapists and keeping them informed. I just have to fight the desires to hurt myself that have returned. I don't know why they have, but they have and I need to get rid of them. My therapist said that I should try and distract myself when I get that feeling. She said try not to just sleep it off, but to do things like go for a walk. I actually feel like going for a walk now, but it's to late. Then again, if I stay in the apartment complex I should be okay. That'll make up for me not walking earlier.
I've been okay with my weight.. stuck at 215.4 for a couple days now... I've been so hungry! I don't know why.. I haven't been eating a whole lot, but I'm more hungry after I eat. I had chicken and veggies for dinner, and then a couple hours later some noodles and more veggies. And I'm still hungry! I've been sleeping all day again for the last couple of days. From midnight or so to 2pm. I just keep waking in the middle of my sleep and I can't fall back asleep. Last night I couldn't sleep from midnight to 1-2am. I'm not sure which. I had just fallen asleep when I woke up. Sucks!
I need to stop sleeping so much...I need to limit myself to 10-12 hours a night. I know that seems like too much for a lot of you, but if I get less I start to go hypomanic. I have klonopin for sleep and anxiety... I took one yesterday when I wanted to go to work and say screw the panic attack, but all it did was make me go back to sleep.
I've been depressed lately... going lower as each day passes. I'm scared I'm going to be in the hospital by New Year's Eve, but I'm determined to start the year out right and not go in the hospital unless I really need it. I went too many times in 2012, I don't want to go at all in 2013. I plan on doing that by taking my meds and talking to my doctor and therapists and keeping them informed. I just have to fight the desires to hurt myself that have returned. I don't know why they have, but they have and I need to get rid of them. My therapist said that I should try and distract myself when I get that feeling. She said try not to just sleep it off, but to do things like go for a walk. I actually feel like going for a walk now, but it's to late. Then again, if I stay in the apartment complex I should be okay. That'll make up for me not walking earlier.
Replies
I am getting caught up on your last few journals. I hope you get the panic attacks figured out and don\'t let them run your life. I know they can be very upsetting.
Wishing you a wonderful year in 2013! HUGS!
Do you have a hobby, like crochet, beading, etc? It really does help to have a hobby to get you distracted.. Try watching some videos on hobbies on YouTube and see if there is something that you would enjoy.
Have you ever tried to take Melatonin for sleep? I would check with you doctors before you try it, but it is over the counter and is a natural hormone that babies have when they are born that helps them sleep sounder. As we get older, we lose it, and don\'t sleep as sound. I take it every night and don\'t sleep well without it.
I hope you can reach your goal of no hospital visits for 2013, but remember, sometimes we just need that little boost to make sure that we are healthy and happy. There is nothing wrong with having to go to the hospital for a couple of days to get you back on track. TAKE CARE OF YOU!!
i feel so bad for you, anxiety is awful, so debilating. i suffer with it so much and many times i have no idea why.i hope you can get it figured out and i agree with distaction and helping the anxiety go away. walking does it for me and i noticed when i was doing those crafts for christmas gifts i wasnt anxious. the extra sleeping likely isnt helping, and maybe you are eating more because of the anxiety, hoping by eating you will feel better.i like your goal, but dont make it a resoultion, we are not perfect people and we all need help at some times. hugssss
I am so sorry to hear that you are getting depressed. I hope you find a way to distract yourself from hurting yourself.
Could all this stuff have anything to do with your Grandma passing away? Also, are you getting enough sunshine, (or vitamin d)?
Good luck I wish you a very Happy Healthy New Year. May 2013 bring you closer to your goals.
as for you being hungry. If you are sleeping all day your body may not be getting enough food? Are you eating all your calories when you are up? If you are maybe, since you are eating at a different time of day it may have thrown your body off a bit. don\'t worry about being the same weight for a few days. You \'ll lose the weight.
Stopping by to give ya Hug!! Sounds like its a tough time. My anxiety has been threw the roof lately but I seem to struggle more with it when the weather turns cold and when its been near and after Christmas.... just all gets to me and i come crashing down depression and anxiety for no real reason just everything.... i hate it!