Anxiety?
I woke up at 5am today in order to shower and ready for church at 6a.
I set up the candelias all around the chapel and rang the church bell. We had service and I had to leave early to eat a morning meal early to be able to take one of the sisters to Silver Spring Maryland for her therapy.
I wasn't so awake even by then. I didn't have much to talk about on the drive but I took care of the sister, then got a coffee and now I'm in the waiting room for when she's done.
I found myself quite anxious while sitting and so I asked myself why?
Is the day not enough about my own goals? I think I just needed to reorder my perspective and put into alignment the personal chores I have to do while waiting on the other monastics' needs.
i have been wanting to paint but every plan to do so lately has been thwarted by a task for the community. I really need to schedule me time with the nuns.
Anyways, things are good. Blessings and good vibes!
xx
Replies
if i have been reading well, you have stout anxiety habits. all the questioner i have known do. methinks that is what makes us questioners. just a theory. mostly, i think i'll let that mystery be.
i woke at 5:17 and the late rising induced a panic attack. i have to start blowing the school train whistles at 5:30 and usually have my hour and a half of meditation and psych inventory finished by then and feeling focused enough to handle the MFL (mind fuck load) of petty details that go into getting 3 young children off to school. waking so late left me feeling totally unprepared for the challenge.
i am relieved to report that it was a feeling, not a fact. the school train got off on time, with all the proverbial ducks in a row, but i'm still buzzing to the hormone shots triggered by that 5:17 panic attack. sometimes anxiety just happens.
When you have 'unexpected' events throw off your natural morning balance routine of awareness, it often leads to the moment of anxiety helping to reset the moment. Here's to your success in moving successfully through the moment!
Thanks Mid! Thanks Arfie!!
Agreed about handling the anxiety remedy. I’m learning when there’s an issue that comes up and anxiety follows I’m learning to just let it pass through and keep eyes on the stuff in the immediate.
You guys get up so early...Yikes!
At least to me it's early
Maybe I've gotten lazy.. I tend to stay up late and sleep in because I don't have any time related responsibilities
I hope that you have a good rest of the day sweetie
Sending hugs...xo
thanks janet!