ANXIOUS!
6-9-09: I don't know why I am feeling so anxious! It all began (again) when my friend killed himself. I thought I would start to feel better after all the services were over. I don't. Of course, Scott's "angel date" is the 17th.....that probably has something to do with it. And, I have not been on my Lexapro.....shame on me! I will call my doctor tomorrow. In any case, I just feel like something horrible is about to happen! I hate it. The weather here is not really helping. We have had so many storms. There was a bad one earlier tonight. I haven't even repaired the damage from the last one....just got the insurance check today. It hasn't been nice enough to get in the pool. But, it has been so humid! I have been getting out to plant flowers, though. I even planted two tomato plants and six watermelon plants. I went to lunch with my mom today. That was nice. Especially since she paid! lol After that we went to Chris' house. She had not yet seen the new kitchen cabinets. The house used to be hers so she was really impressed. Here comes the lightning again! Gotta shut down.
Replies
You and I seem to be on a similar path. It is not easy to lose friends at any time let alone after what we have been through. I hope the storms don\'t do anymore damage! We just had a power cut (blackout to you?) here this afternoon, but it seems to have come back on ok. Stay safe, Charlotte. xo
Ginger, sorry about your friend. I am feeling anxious too. I get this way every year about this time. Bobby\'s angel date is on the 16th. Hope that nothing bad happend during the storms. We got lots of rain today in K.C. No hails or big wins at my place. Hope you have a good rest of the week and I will be thinking of you next week more so than usual...Hugs, Connie
I have been feeling over whelmed, anxious, just like you....its almost like I\'m waiting for the other shoe to drop.. Like you said, you feel like something horrible is about to happen.. Its a scary feeling... I seem to walk in circles, I\'Boxes of clothes to sort out, cleaning out my deck & files... I have family pictures out everywhere.. to do srapbooking...Then I find myself outside planting flowers...So needless to say, I can relate to why we feel anxious....I feel CRAZY!! I hope your better then this!!! Oh Heck .. this shall pass... Ginger, I hope you start feeling better soon.. Love, Kelly
Honey, this is so normal. I lost my dear sister in January, this year, my only sibling, and it just spiralled me back to my Jamie\'s death. All the emotions and feelings came flooding back. I guess what I am saying, is that it probably normal for us Moms to have this happens. Sucks, doesn\'t it?? It just immobilized me, because while the grief for my sister was fresh, I went back through Jamie\'s loss, then I felt jealous actually, because she was now with my Jamie. How very awful of me to feel that way! She had suffered so, and was now at peace, and I was thinking of myself. Tight hugs to you! Judy
This anxiousness is a bad feeling. I had a complete meltdown yesterday as if I had heard of my son\'s suicide for the first time. PLEASE do not ignore taking your medication in a timely manner. We believe my son\'s withdrawal or just his taking it could have been the catalyst for his suicide. We will never know but please beware of the consequences of such drugs. Xanax works for me. It just takes the edge off of the worst feelings. You take care. In Christ, ..Dale Brandon\'s Mom
Ginger, I seem to go in a funk for a few days after after someone passes. I think that is just because we now know the pain all too well that their family members are experiencing. Hoping it passes and you can enjoy the pool and your summer more. The 17th will be difficult but remember the anticipation is sometimes much worse. Love to you. Robin
Ginger seems everyone here is struggling at the moment. So sorry to hear about your friend. Maybe you are right and it\'s the weather, it\'s enough to make anyone anxious. Stay strong. Love and hugs Cathy
I think that it is a combination of the death of your friend and the approaching angel date. I definitely become more sad and anxious. I hope that as the weeks pass thing will improve for you...hang in there...love and hugs...Karen
I hope you feel better soon. I agree with Karen, most likely a combo of a recent death and upcoming angel date. It is strange but I am more down when the sun is shining. I guess I am strange LOL. Or maybe it is because it has rained so much that it feels more normal than sunshine. My mom and I planted 2 tomato plants and one pumpkin plant the other day when the sun was out. A co-worker gave me the pumpkin plant that he started from seed and we are going to grow it for fun and to give to the kids later. Love and hugs to you, Belinda
I lost my youngest son April 3,2003. I never in a million years could have dreamed that my older son\'s depression and survivors guilt would lead to his suicide, but DEC 10th 2007. Just a few days after his memorial service, my step daughter also killed herself. I get anxious over real things(like angel dates, and birthdays) and then I just get that way for no aparent reason. I wake up that way sometimes, and wonder if maybe I dreamed something and just don\'t remember.I get in a panic in places where I went with my sons. I panic if I see someone who looks like one of them from a distance. I don\'t think I will ever be just my regular self I used to be. I think our brains just have had such awful shocks, that they can never really be the way they were before. I dread the day someione I know will die, because I am terrified at the thought of having to go to a memorial or funeral. I don\'t know if I can do it. I think we are just always going to be sensitive to diffrent things. We may not know why, and we may not even know what it is till it comes along. I just know I get that way often, and do not always know why. Sometimes I figure it out after a while. Like about the last 2 weeks of April I got where I was crying over little things, and my anziety was over the top. I thought , well March 9th was Paul\'s birthday. He would have been 35. April 3 was his 6th angel date. Then April 14th would have been Steven\'s 40th birthday. So I decided, no wonder I am upset. But all that passed and I got worse as the days past. Then I was sitting at home alone watching TV and a flower commercial for Mothers Day came on! I was \"Oh how stupid can I be, I am a mother with no living children, now wonder I am acting lke this.\" We have so much to think about and so many things and times to remember, it is no wonder we are all a bit bonkers some days. Love you,Peggy