another waisted day

well, surprise, didnt go anywere or do anything. got up early, wrote in journal, took meds and went back to sleep. didnt wake till 6.30. now im up. so hot today. son out drinking so i got on here while he is gone. its been rough having him back. i dont know if it will work out. im so low. i dont care about anything again. i am in a deep hole and i dont know how to get out. going to go to counseling once a week till i can get a little better. this is the third day of not leaving. supposed to go and watch super bowl and i so dont want to go. i dont want to go anywere. i am so glad i can get back on here wene i get realuy bad. have to take my xanex soon.its so freaking hot in here. need to make new goals for myself. so fat i dont want anyone to even see me anymoore and now im 49 yrs old. its just such a mess its realy hard for me to care about anything anymoore. its a real shame. i dont even remembeer when i was happy. i know i was at some time but i cant think of it/.my whole family thinks im just unsocial but its way moore than that. its getting worse all the time. moore later....