Another trip to the ER

Well last night at work I was really dizzy and lightheaded. I knew I was dehydrated again. I told my boss I needed to go to the emergency room again, and she said to try and call in a replacement and if that didn't work then I could leave after we had served supper to the residents. I was finally able to go after 4 hours! I get there and go through the usual, got some fluids in me. Right in the middle of all of it I get a massive panic attack and start shaking...or it was some reaction to whatever they put in my IV. Either way I was not having it. I was not myself at all. I kept asking the doctor and nurse if I could just refuse the IV and go home, I just wanted to go home. They finally hooked me up to this monitor that fed the IV at a faster pace. The doctor gave me the name of a specialist in our area that would be able to put in the gastric pacemaker. But i'm going to see the specialist down at the University of Michigan before I take that leap. Just my luck i'll have to get one in anyways. But whatever is going to help I guess, I can't keep making trips to the ER just to get hydrated. Plus I'm getting way too antzy when i'm there and i'll probably freak out one of these days. Then when I was getting ready to leave my arm where my IV was started to bleed everywhere! I didn't even notice but my mom about passed out from all the blood. I didn't even care, I just wanted out of there. I got home, took 2 klonopins and went to bed. I've never felt so relieved to be home. I'm not sure what caused my panic attack, if that's what it even was, but it scared me that I can't act normal in front of people. I used to be able to control my emotions in public but it's getting to the point where I can't....it's really scaring me. It scares me so much I don't even want to go to any more doctors appointments because I don't think i'll be able to sit still.