Another time, another planet

It is hard to know how to start.  I will say that I miss my husband.  He passed away on October 26, 2013. It still feels like this surreal thing.  I'm a 33 year old mom.  I had a baby this summer and now she won't be able to know him.  My sons are really hurting for him.  I'm like in this weird limbo.  At first it felt like I was in this really sad movie that was about someone else.  I would think about our relationship and marriage and it would lead up to "that day" which is what I call the day when he passed away, the story would end and the credits roll. No matter what I would think about and try to intellectually rationalize, the story ends the same.  Its like when you watch a movie where something happens that you wish didn't happen in the story...no matter how many times you watch the movie, the bad thing still happens.  My brain created this veil over my reality.  Sometimes the veil was lifted a little bit and my intimidating reality was staring me in the face.  I feel physically overwhelmed, like I'm so incomplete that I'll fall apart.  He was taking some classes at the university and when I drove by it the other day, I wept. That bothers me so much.  When I pass by places he'd be, I think I can try to find him there.  
We started dating in 2000 and got married in 2002.  This passed Sunday would have been 12 years of marriage.  
I keep imagining what my life would be like if he was still here.  My whole world is vastly different now.  So   when I think of him or see pictures, it feels like another time-another planet.  That was how it felt looking at my wedding pictures on Sunday. Being a single mom like I am now is an alien feeling.   My world broke that day and nothing is or ever will be the same.  Just trying to navigate this new normal