another sad day thurs sept 22, 2011

well i finnaly got ahold of youngest son. he had answer machine so cloged up by not ever deleating anything. so of course i was concerned when couldnt get ahold of him. talked to oldest son today and of course he said he was in doc office and would call me back. and guess what, never heard a word. figures. thats him M.O. cant even get him to come and see me when im all broke up. have still been VERY DEPP=RESSED today. its raining, i hurt all over and im anxious about the sergon tomorow i hope i dont have the dop foot. is my leg going to be strait, and about the fall and all the pain. its an early appt. well 11 a.m. im a lte night persons allready ate dinner and will be goiung  to bed in about 2 hrs. trying to get everything i need together tonight so its not so hectic tommorow morning. not even bring ing the wheel chair cause they have them there. called the GYN. guess what, they ARE NOT wheelchair exessible. they said call me wene you are better, and they WILL NOT givve me the cream i know i need. ihave had this 2 other times, i know whaT IT IS. so i dont know. its not good to have an infection prob anywere on body, you wouldnt be wanting even a slight PH BALANCE INFECTION.  i KNOW thats what it is, and you realy have no side effects, but i can tell. so that just figures. everythign is so fucked up i cant even say. will have to go to room early i know, dont want to but if i dont i will be crabby tommorow, dont want that.the whole health care systum is such a mess. and im still very deppressed and very anxoius. oh well what ya ganna do?havnt even done my exersisies today im so sad. i think this is just now hitting me how fucked i realy am. son got his meds and he is hopefully not going to9 drink. i am soooo mad at him. he will have no money next month. i dont know what im going to do im very afraid. ok, maybe moore later i just dont even know anymoore about anything..........