ANOTHER RESTLESS NIGHT!

Thurs. night, July 11:  Once again I cannot sleep.  I sleep at all the wrong times!  I posted 8 new photos.  I hope all of you reading will check them out. I even have one of my "picnic buddy".I didn't go outside much today.  My fun in the sun yesterday resulted in a bit of a "sun spark".  Not a burn...just a spark.Tomorrow is my last day before Craig will be here, all the time, for 14 days!  I don't know about this!!!! He still has a hard time understanding me now.  I don't blame him, I don't really understand myself.  I tried to explain to him if you say to me, "Do you want to go do something?", I will always say no.  You have to be specific with me these days.  Now if you say, "Do you want to go to.......? (Fill in the blank)  I will be able to say yes if it sounds good to me.  Does anyone else have this problem? And, I am no good at plans being changed.  Once I get one, it is reallly hard for me to deviate.  It is hard enough for me to wrap my head around things once but to keep changing is enough to make me scream.  Really.  I still don't know if we are doing anything for his vacation and/or what that might be.  It has all changed so much I have just stepped away from it.  I guess he will let me know.  But, he had better be specific!Melissa's Mom called, finally, this eve.  I was getting worried about her.  I have tried to call several times.  Like the rest of us, she has an ok day and then a horrible day.  It has not been so good for her lately.  I just assured her that she is not crazy.  Or, if she is, she has lots of company.  It is not quite seven weeks since Melissa died.  It is still very raw for all of us, but especially her Mom and Adam.  I couldn't tell her it gets better, just different.  In some ways it is harder for me now.  I miss Scott more and more with each passing day.  I just walk around with that empty feeling in my stomach ALL the time!I am trying to get the hang of MySpace.  It seems much harder to me than Daily Strength.  I have decided to be in touch, finally, with some others.  That is a huge step for me.  Of course they are all people I know but have just been out of touch with.  I am not ready for much "in-person" yet but I can keep up with them on-line.  It is a start, I guess.