Another long, painful night
So night 3, or is it 4; whichever, where I have cried myself to sleep alone and in pain. I feel so alone. I just want a cuddle and to feel like somebody actually gives a shit. Not like they've got to care or like its a burden, but genuinely to want to help however they can. I feel as though even when I am surrounded by people I am alone. Like I am disconnected. Like they don't really see me, see how very much I am hurting. Even my partner, everyone I just feel as if i am on an island completely deserted. It seems like my partner barely says a word to me anymore, as if she no longer cares. Today I cried right in front of her and she just ignored it and carried on playing X-box. Like I wasn't even there, and tonight she would have sleepily heard me crying, if I had heard her cry ever, it brings me to tears. But she can just ignore mine. I am in so much pain. It is endless, I just don't know how I can change this, Its a never ending cycle of hurt. I feel as though I am right on the end of the line, cliff whatever just ready to tilt over the edge.I just want to take a step away from the edge.
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