Another Long Day

It has been another long day.  I'm doing my best to breathe and stay focused on positivity. 
My feelings are hurt that after years of running around helping everyone, I am at rock bottom and completely alone.  My kids have been doing their finals this week and even they are not around to bring cheer!  I cannot give enough thanks to my friends here, all of you have shown more support and giving than my own family and friends that are here close.
I'm struggling with my smoking addiction because I can't afford to smoke and have had no choice but to just go cold turkey out of the blue.  I'm trying to look at this in a positive light for my health and future finances.  It is even harder when it wasn't really your choice to quit!
I received a Christmas card from my brother.  I had hoped he had written, but he did not even address me at all.  He sent a note with movie cards to my kids that he wouldn't be here for Christmas, but didn't want them to feel forgotten.  It broke my heart, but at least he did this for the kids.
Love to you all here, you are so many times my sanity