another fight

Man oh man... we just had a super blow out.....(I just had to go drop him off at his truck at the dandy)he has been being so nice to me... well... this morning he is all pissed off.. wondering when things are gonnabe normal agin.. I was like russ i told u I dont know... whether they ever willbe.... anyway BIG ASS fight...me fucking bawling.... sobbing actually... cause he starts with the emotionalbattering.. and how this is all my fault.  If i would just get Over it....everything would be fine... if I would just stop making a big deal aboutanything, and get help, that I am making it stressful for HIM when he is athome...  told him I didnt want him here.... for alot of reasons... but this.. himpressuring me.. and emotionaly abuse is #1... u cant make me feel something I dont.... ... to stop trying to make me put atime limit on shit... to just get oer it... to make me feel shit.. that Icant.... so he said he isnt leaving.... so I said ... ok.. I guess while u go get thegirls... I will pack them up and I will have to .. .cause I am not staying inthis house with you... with all the pressure, and anxiety and anger...u put onme and make me feel and he told me.. your not taking my kids.... and I said Russ I can and will take the kids.... and he said..u need to get over this stupid shit.... I will gaurantee ur nottaking my kids out of this house....and I was pulling into the dandy... and I said...see this shit ur doing to meright now..... makes me fucking hate u .. and ur pushing me farther away... andright now all I want to do is run fucking far away from u and this shit.. makesme not even want to try.. to just get out right now............ and he got outof the truck and slammed my door... Sooooo now I am trying to pull my shit together emotionaly... and stop cryingand try to build up this little wall so when he gets home I can be strong.. andnot cry in front of my kids... and hopefully he wont start a fight in front ofthem..... I knew  ... with him not getting what he wants, and me not acting the way hewants me to.. he would go right back.... fuck.... I am sorry.. I just needed to get it out... and shit... I just am sooodamn sick of this and drained.. and I just dont want to have to do this day after day... fuck ... god... what the fuck I do?  pack my kids up or what....?   ok like 1 1/2 hour lateru fucking have to be kidding me.. he just called and was all normal.. and askedif I wanted him to pick up supper?my lord... I swear to god I am losing it.. he is trying to drive me insane...