another day in paridice.

well, this was another waisted day. i slept most of the day away. my days and nights are so messed up. i did leave the house once today. my deppression is realy kikin in now. my apt is a dissaster. i keep trying to clean it, but then i dont. i cant even think strait anymoore. im just sooo scared about evrything. oh well, story of my life. got on monster . com but they dont put waitress jobs on there so i will have to try to drag myself out again. oh well. at leaste i talked to older son today, thats something. i feel so alone. thats all for now.maybe tommorow will be better.