Another Day in a NUT HOUSE !!!!!!!!

Today - Wednesday April 24 th - so far has been a miserable day - thanks to Ray ! 

He couldn't allow himself to give me just ONE peaceful morning - waking up at my own pace, and NOT completely badgered by his cruelty, and anger ! Would it really have killed him to be actually KIND to me for JUST ONE DAMN MORNING ?!

Well, I guess the answer to that question is, " YES ! ", since he did everything in his power to make sure I was as UN-comfortable during my " waking up " process, as possible ! He knows that chances are very high that I have a BAD headache when I first wake up, but according to HIM he's sick of hearing about that ! It's as if he feels like MY HEADACHES are any of HIS business ! Does he honestly think that I have headaches JUST to " bother " him ?! IF he truly thinks that, then he's got a MAJOR MALFUNCTION ! 

What kind of person thinks that the " others's " pains are created on purpose, solely to bother them ?! That's such BULL SHIT !!!!!

Going through this BULL SHIT every single DAMN DAY is simply NOT WORTH IT ! 

NO AMOUNT OF FINANCIAL HELP IS WORTH GOING THROUGH THIS BULL SHIT EVERY DAY !!!!!

LIFE IS TOO DAMN SHORT !!!!!

If he thinks that any of my actions are done intentionally to upset him, he has another thing coming ! 

I love Ray. 

I have always loved Ray, no matter what.

But lately he's been pushing my very last buttons !.... BIG TIME !!!! 

To say that he's been getting on my " last nerve ", would be the understatement of the year !!!! 

How can he expect someone to continue to Love him - unconditionally - when he does every single little thing he can think of to upset the other person, to degrade the other person, to insult them, put them down, bully them, push them around, and do everything possible to make them feel about as big as a microscopic ant !!!! 

How can he expect LOVE when he's ALWAYS giving out ALL of those HATEFUL EMOTIONS ?!?!?! 

HOW ?????

Right now he's out at the local mall, and I'm thankful for this " break " from him ! 

I wish I could get him to do this even MORE often, so I'd have more moments of peace ! 

Whenever he's here, it's very RARE that there's " peace " in this household. 

I wish it wasn't like that, but that's simply how it is.