another day, chores are done and now my head's in my hands

it's another day. my chores are done, and now my head is in my hands.

i don't always muster what it takes to keep myself thoroughly occupied and my mind

will take advantage of that lacking every time it seems. I found lots of things I needed to do 

to today. cleaned my room, did errands to buy toiletries and water, got a starbucks and even 

stayed in budget and turned my change jar into green backs. Went for a walk..I am now in my room and I am tired

of looking at screens. Whether it's the IPhone or the TV or even the computer. I might go for another walk...

i feel lacking for always falling back into a passive 'watch and wait' kind of mode. Maybe I should be more social..though

it drives me nuts, I kind of don't know whether that is in the budget anyways (a hike is free though!). It's all good maybe. I am aware now that I do this all the time - where my head falls into my hands with the pressure of not having an occupation - it's not always extreme.. just maybe though I just don't alway know what to do with myself, and maybe because I am not on TV or a star of somekind the effort to put myself 'out there' seems a liberality that goes against my conservatism. :)

I guess there are some little admin things I could do. I get the sense that I am not alone in this pining away that sometimes happens when there's peaceful moments (and not a pressing demand to take care of something.) Maybe it's time to make plans that involve an ongoing responsibility for when I have my days off. Something fun and gratifying that I can watch grow. :)

Rather than think about the indulgent maybe I can imagine devoting myself to a building project. :)