Another day at work

Work was alright today. Not great. It's hard tedious work. I felt myself uneasy about my ability to do it, like I was some loser who couldn't even do this, but I tried to keep the narrative with self loving and positive. I told myself' 'I'm new at this, I will learn.' ' what was i expecting from myself?' A little too much perfection? Lacking humanity towards myself and all the folks out there trying new things?' I was feeling very untethered as I tried to adjust- like my mood and sense of self was so lost in the moment swinging way out of control. I tried to pray as I worked. I tried to keep grounded . I thought of the implications. It's a hard transition to working in

a very diferent culture.

My impulse was to think, it's not right for me this work. I don't like it. I can do more or something else - something better. But I walked myself through all that stuff and just believed in my power to carry on. I'll learn it I thought and I'll have some self compassion. 

Sorry if this seems negative. I'm at ease now. I will muddle through!! I know I can do it.