Another day, another dollar...

I have been reading more and more from my books.  I have spent time with my boys a lot.  i am very happy about that.  I have been trying to work on myself more and more lately.  I can only do so much without going insane.  I have been feeling a lot better.  I missed my counseling appointment this morning, because i felt sick as crap.  I feel a little better, but still have this huge headache and chill.  I should be ok tho.  I am still trying my hardest to take care of myself.  I have thought a lot about everything, as my brain will not shut off. My son tommy spent the night with me on saturday night.  It was incredibly awesome.  he wanted to sleep with me.  We laid down and watched a movie.  After the movie, he just wanted to talk with me for an hour and a half afterwards.   We talked about everything.  He constantly tells me that he wants to move back home with me, but wants his mommy to move back in too.  He just asked me to apologize to his mom.  I tried so hard to keep my composure, but lost it at times.  I wish it was that easy.  I really hope that he speaks to his mommy, and shows her that we truly love and should work this out.  He really wants his mommy and daddy to live together and be happy.  That is from his mouth without any any coaxing, which i am sure that his mommy will think that is what is happening.  The truth is, that is what he wants.  I felt so bad, all i could tell him is that i know and that i am sorry things are the way they are.  I love them all so much, and am doing what i need to prove it to sarah.  I am keeping this change that i have started on.  One day at a time.  i will continue down the path that god has provided me with.  I now need to try to stop smoking again.  I want to, but am so stressed and have the hardest time trying to lately.  I will tho, eventually. 



you are doing so well
i am glad you have had chance to be with your son