Another day alone in the crowd

Well, we are all here getting ready for another "Family Dinner".  I dread these meals now.  Someone is always making "jokes" that are hurtful. And I am often the butt of those "jokes." There is often a big blowup and argument over something small. I truly wish I had the resources to live on my own again. I have used all of my savings helping "the family." Everytime I get fed up and talk to my sister about all the foolishness going on, she starts talking about "the family." How we all need to love each other and look out for each other. How "the family" is so important.
It's strange, I don't feel like I am one of "the family" she is talking about.