Another day

So last night people who hate me threw eggs at the windows, going to take ages to clean off, job for tomorrow. Mum spoke to a friend, oh yes he's doing ok just the eggs getting him down. Rot - I am so struggling with everything, I still love my children and my wife - over a year since I've seen my children and 8 months since I saw my wife - should I ever see her again she'll be my ex wife, and I don't know, I feel such pain, I feel so tired, and the pain is as bad as ever. I don't feel suicidal but death would be great relief, I think.