Another Anniversary
When do you stop counting the months? After the first or second year? I do not count the weeks anymore. It upset me the last time I counted. Seemed so many weeks since I saw him. I feel better these days. Haven't had a cry for a few weeks now. I still get choked up and my eyes well up with tears. The simple thing can make me tear up. Even hearing a bird sing can bring the tears. My days are busy with my job and my days off doing errands. The summer is gentle for the grieving because you can get outdoors and enjoy the yard and go for walks. I am more aware of the flowers and birds than ever before. Make me think of heaven and well , " does Ron know we are okay? Just okay, not great...yet" Here come the tears while typing this. Not crying but I have to blink to be able to see the keyboard. This coming week will be a huge step for me. I am going to meet a fellow professional for coffee and a pizza. All my friends are all excited and pleased and like teenagers again. He lost his wife to cancer last year. At least once a day I think, what are you doing meeting another man? I took my marriage vows so serious. I never cheated!! But the coffee and pizza will hurt no one. He is looking forward to it. Me? Not sure to be honest. Indifferent I think. What will be will be. Just going to be myself. I have nothing to loose. I have already lost it. Just venting. Darn tears, Have to stop typing as I can't see. Hugs to all. Love, Diane
Replies
I think that getting out will do you good Diane. It sounds like it would be comforting to meet with someone going through the same thing that you are. I do find that i am doing ok too. A lot of that has to do with going back to work after retiring from the library 3 years ago. It is a call in pool so i can pick and choose my hours. I tend to work lots of weekends because that is when i need to be busy. I think you are right about summer being easier then winter. We shall see! Have a good week-Patti
Diane, I am so happy for you. You have the encourage to face the life and live the life; and that is life Ron wants you to live. Go ahead. You will hurt nobody. Crying all day with overwhelmed emotions will hurt, you particularly, but having coffee and pizza etc hurts nobody. How could we hurt anyone? We have been so vulnerable, all we need is support--a crutch to lean, a hug for warm, a few words for comfort---a life to move on. We hurt nobody, how could we, when we are so vulnerable? Go ahead, my friend, go right ahead.....Tiger
Tears are wonderful \"healing\" tears. It\'s okay to cry. It\'s also ok to meet your friend for pizza!! :) I\'m happy for you and if nothing else, you will have a fellow traveler on this path to commiserate with . . . Hugs, D
Yes, tears are good. It\'s good to have a friend you can connect with, he\'s going through the same thing. Relax, enjoy chatting, it will help you.
My first year of Ben\'s passing is Friday. I am not anticipating anything, I will deal with the emotions as they come. All I know is, Ben is safely tucked in my heart. That feels good.
I am thinking of you, Diane, take care,
Hugs.....Sandra