Annoyed
So just woke up. But I missed my alarm yet again. I've done this multiple times the past few days and i have no idea why. I have had two alarms set for like the past year or something I wake up to them every morning. But I haven't been waking up to them anymore like usually I even hear them in my dreams and then I'm like oh crap I gotta get up. Haven't heard them at all.
I tested my phone to see if they were actually going off and they are. I even changed the alarm tone to see if that's why I wasn't hearing it. I have no idea why this is happening but it is making me so upset. Thankfully I woke up like 7 minutes after my first alarm. I'm gonna set like 5 of them and see if that helps for tomorrow.
I've just worked a long time to be able to wake up at a certain time every day and have a productive morning and the fact that it's just not working now makes me so upset. I have also just been incredibly tired lately as well I keep accidentally falling asleep during the day. When I set alarms to cut my nap short I don't wake up to them and and up sleeping way too long. I just don't know what's going on with my sleeping habits but it's making me mad.
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I believe I "Normalize" alarm clocks. After a while of using the same alarms, my sub-conscious comes to expect them to the point of integrating them into my dreams and/or disregarding them, altogether.
What it is I am getting up for seems to have greater impact than the alarm I use to alert me.
Yeah that is probably what has happened here. I tried to change the actual alarm sound to see if that would help but it didnt. I am gonna throw in a few more alarms and see if it helps.
A ploy I pulled on myself while I was working rotating shifts and suffering extreme insomnia was to plant multiple alarm clocks in different parts of the room. I changed up the order right before I went to sleep so that my subconscious couldn't put them on "Disregard" so easily.
How ironic is it that a stable sleep routine seemed quite beyond me until I gave up on ever having a stable sleep routine? Once I took that pressure off myself, sleep started coming allot easier. Well. . . The psychotherapy sessions I was working simultaneously might have helped some, too. Stable sleep was only one anomaly on my psychotic smorgasbord of the era.