Angry in Love!!!

Filled with alot of anger and resentment. I just typed up one nasty hateful letter to W CS ever!! I will delete it just my way of getting the thoughts out of my head. Noticed for the past two days no wedding ring and that struck me to my core. since we have been married never has she gone without it. I have not questioned where it is I am going to wait for a bit to see. A conversation we had nearly a year ago when I confronted her about her new male late night texting and call buddy began when she noticed he was not wearing his wedding ring anymore. Maybe I am overreacting guess time will tell. I am weakening my resolve. Appraching 1 year of IC and still the same things are happening. Marriage defintely not better by any means. Actually its worse. I have owned my verbal abusiveness. I feel I have made changes in my reaction with the kids in regards to my anger. I feel so left behind. We don't talk. Well she won't talk to me anyway. I am so confused. I am hurting and the one person I has expected to be there for my lifetime is there in body only. I know I have hurt her with my words and actions deeply and from my view she has done the same to me. I just want to quit.
If she has been able to stop loving me why can't I do the same? I am angry because I am still madly in love with her.