anger and energy

My work day was really an exceptional. I worked well, and was able to relate with my coworkers. I contemplated some ideas

which came to mind - but in the final analysis I just had a good day and then came back to the house. I ate and then did an errand I needed to do and prepared for tomorrow's meeting with an old colleague.

I am feeling a mix of motivation, anger and a lot of energy. More than I can focus really. TV is not enough so I thought to put 'pen to paper' and write about it. It's definitely a modality that can hold my attention and help me 'get out' what's on my mind.

I have found that in the past (way before I got VERY sick) that I had a sense of wanting money and a sense of status about the money I had. It drove me a little bit..dictating my personal value - personal self regard.

Now that I have been healing and living in a place that is decidely austere, as well as work a humble job too, I find my pride is from doing a job well done and manifesting my capabilities towards being as clear and self responsible as I can. I find it's a sign of health,

growth and clarity. It's a natural progression that has me growing emotionally and mentally towards being someone who despite having a disability is still committed towards striving for a better life. I can build on things at home from what I learn at work, and I can build on things at work, that I learn at home. For now, this rascally energy I have will just have to 'come out' in ways that I have to engage it, and maybe that is 'healthy.'