and the day wears on

i know we're all responsible for our own entertainment..

much like we are all responsible for our emotions and about

living our daily lives. It came to me out of the perspective of having

respect for my parents' relationship and their responsibilities.

My job is to be as self reliant as possible. I can respect that too...

for some reason  the idea of also holding the 'fort for my own entertainment' in my free time

came to me as I went about the day...it's been an idea that came to the fore today with a sense

of purposeful power that finding a new responsbility and sense of ownership

brings... I was determined to not just become woeful about things - I realized if

i had some time to fill with my own enjoyment - I'd own it....

Gosh this seems so basic...I did my laundry and I ate and cleaned up lunch and lunch dishes..

I took a drive to the local church...

I watched some television..I went for a long walk at the park... I folded laundry and made the bed..

All these big and little things just helped me get on with my day.

after writing my last post. It helped me to think about structures - and buffeting myself against those

structures - like benchmarks for a reasonable and rational day...breakfast, lunch, dinner... something to look forward to and prepare for....even my responsibility to society...I disseminated

some helpful information to the LA Orphanage.

As the day wore on my mind becomes a funky place when I become fatigued...and I know that better now...(I'll be sure to tell my doc)

Now that it's the afternoon - after a while I realized .....I didn't go down a rabbit hole with mentalizations...I didn't get lost...

but I did come to see that there's adventure out there to boldly go for...and be conscious and mindful of...

Things are good. :)

I go to my parents for dinner in an hour! Have a good evening everybody!