and not even 3 weeks....

So last time she texted me, she blamed me for her lying, blamed me for her hiding things.

Said I walked out on them, and broke her heart.

I replyied never contact me again,  she replied, negativily of course, and said fine....good luck - I'll delte your number.

Well she lasted only 3 weeks, and she texted in the middle of the night last night, "I miss you, we are meant to be together".

I am still working on myself, my trust issues, my desire to please and exhaust myself to help others. I am not as depressed as I was the last two months, I was danergously low and in a dark place.

I dont know what the new me will look like, its a little scary to think about the process of dealing with the  hurt, pain, and emotions. I hope for a better version of myself. I hope for a happier version of myself.  I hope for a trusting version of myself.

I know I need to be stronger and speak up more, I hate conflict. I fear conflict. So much that it builds up and  boils out at the wrong time.

Thing is I still love my first wife, and its been 15 years since the divorce, it was my own fears and hurt that caused me to end it. I still love my EX.