An update on the past years +

So I haven't been here for a while, and I believe you all deserve an explaination.

The last update I posted I was looking for a job.  Well I found one, and a week later they told me that I was not a good fit even though the entire week they told me what a wonderful job i was doing.  I spiraled into depression and drinking, thankfully it was only for a short time when an old boss offered me a delivery driver job again.  I took it, but started looking for a better job.  Ended up picking up two more jobs before finding the one I am at now.

In this past year, my husband started having medical issues, he no longer has any strength in his right arm, nor does he have any feeling in it.  He recieved third degree burns on his arm, and didn't feel them happening.  The doctors cannot figure out what is going on, there is no nerve damage so the local doctors are sending us for a second opinion.

I am studying for the praxis to become a teacher and trying not to stress too much.  

With everything going on, my depression has gotten so much worse, to the point that some days while I don't want to kill myself, I feel suicidal, if that makes sense.