An investment in joy
"Sometimes discouraged but not defeated, cast down but not destroyed..I believe its turning around for me " - VaShawn Mitchell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzbKwcC-Xmo&index=3&list=RDgQDhVZ1gzqk
My friends I am making an investment in joy. The worry and anxiety still tries to tug at me, I want to be up and about and productive, I want to earn, and my heart breaks for my son. We have another court date coming up, his temporary guardian can no longer keep him so now he has to be permanently placed either with a family member or in a home. He says "mom do what you need to do to set this right, I want to come home"; he says he is angry at me for sending him away with no idea how to get him back. It breaks my heart...
But I am stubborn in my commitment to faith. The sorrow and heartbreak creeps up on me, I miss my child so much, the house is so empty without him. And I fall apart, hug my pillows and weep. Then I go back to believing, affirming and praising.
When the anxiety can't get me during the days, it creeps up on me in the still of night and I wake up struggling to breathe, smothered by it. Had a bad anxiety attack a few nights ago and I got angry. I got up looked at myself in the mirror and started to speak aloud to the demons in my head...
The power to cast out demons is mine, to rout you to stop you, your power to bind. I command you now begone from my heart , my spirit ,my body my every part. BEGONE I DECREE BY POWER DIVINE, perfect peace and serenity is mine.
Failure and limitation does not belong to me; begone, get behind me , praise God I am free.
I crawled back into bed and the floodgates broke open, affirmations just kept coming. Finally after about an hour of trying to get back to sleep I got up and started to write them down and just like that my second book has been written.
I release the authority of God in me, whatever I desire, I command it to be.
Almighty power awakened in me, I create whatever my mind can see; Steadfast, immovable, is my decree, I know that mountains now move for me.
This morning as I meditated, giving thanks for all my blessings the phone rang. It was the housing company, my mortgage is in arrears by a month. I hung up the phone and raised my hands in praise. I haven't made a mortgage payment in 5 months and yet my mortgage has been covered for all this time. I've worried so much about losing my house. About two weeks ago the realtor stopped by encouraging me to finalize the listing and I told him to hold on, I don't need to sell, I felt peace that my house was secured, so I stopped worrying about it. It is already done.
I walked into my kitchen and blessed my empty fridge, took one of the last 3 cans of food in my pantry and gave thanks. And I'm not just saying the words, I am feeling genuine gratitude and joy. Because I have been carried now for 6 months past the point where I ran out of resources. I have been sheltered, I have been fed, I have been comforted. I'm alive. I am hopeful. I am joyful.
I am overflowing...
Master the tempest is raging, the storm clouds around me roll, yet my heart oe’rflows with gladness, I praise you for keeping my soul.
Take the shackles from my feet, back it up and let me dance; I now command my every circumstance, sing freedom, and power, and wisdom and grace; Now let every moment be filled with praise.
I see you, I see you all around, my eyes have been opened my joy is profound. I see you, I see you dear Lord up above, I see all around me your grace and your love. I see you, I see you how can I express, my gratitude, my joy, my thankfulness. I see you dear Lord in everything, and Lord I thank you, your praises I sing.
The Lord is speaking to me, through me. What amazing messages are coming forth. I am in awe.I have to rest now, all this joy and inspiration and creativity is wearing me out! That is the irony of CFS. But as the songwriter says...
"It won't always be like this, The Lord will perfect that concern in me and sooner or later it will turn in my favor, it's turning around for me".
PS : The full set of affirmations are online at ... https://1drv.ms/p/s!Apsn95jlF3VVc8QXTvVlANePBAI
I hope you will find something in it that speaks to you.
Bless you my friends.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzbKwcC-Xmo&index=3&list=RDgQDhVZ1gzqk
My friends I am making an investment in joy. The worry and anxiety still tries to tug at me, I want to be up and about and productive, I want to earn, and my heart breaks for my son. We have another court date coming up, his temporary guardian can no longer keep him so now he has to be permanently placed either with a family member or in a home. He says "mom do what you need to do to set this right, I want to come home"; he says he is angry at me for sending him away with no idea how to get him back. It breaks my heart...
But I am stubborn in my commitment to faith. The sorrow and heartbreak creeps up on me, I miss my child so much, the house is so empty without him. And I fall apart, hug my pillows and weep. Then I go back to believing, affirming and praising.
When the anxiety can't get me during the days, it creeps up on me in the still of night and I wake up struggling to breathe, smothered by it. Had a bad anxiety attack a few nights ago and I got angry. I got up looked at myself in the mirror and started to speak aloud to the demons in my head...
The power to cast out demons is mine, to rout you to stop you, your power to bind. I command you now begone from my heart , my spirit ,my body my every part. BEGONE I DECREE BY POWER DIVINE, perfect peace and serenity is mine.
Failure and limitation does not belong to me; begone, get behind me , praise God I am free.
I crawled back into bed and the floodgates broke open, affirmations just kept coming. Finally after about an hour of trying to get back to sleep I got up and started to write them down and just like that my second book has been written.
I release the authority of God in me, whatever I desire, I command it to be.
Almighty power awakened in me, I create whatever my mind can see; Steadfast, immovable, is my decree, I know that mountains now move for me.
This morning as I meditated, giving thanks for all my blessings the phone rang. It was the housing company, my mortgage is in arrears by a month. I hung up the phone and raised my hands in praise. I haven't made a mortgage payment in 5 months and yet my mortgage has been covered for all this time. I've worried so much about losing my house. About two weeks ago the realtor stopped by encouraging me to finalize the listing and I told him to hold on, I don't need to sell, I felt peace that my house was secured, so I stopped worrying about it. It is already done.
I walked into my kitchen and blessed my empty fridge, took one of the last 3 cans of food in my pantry and gave thanks. And I'm not just saying the words, I am feeling genuine gratitude and joy. Because I have been carried now for 6 months past the point where I ran out of resources. I have been sheltered, I have been fed, I have been comforted. I'm alive. I am hopeful. I am joyful.
I am overflowing...
Master the tempest is raging, the storm clouds around me roll, yet my heart oe’rflows with gladness, I praise you for keeping my soul.
Take the shackles from my feet, back it up and let me dance; I now command my every circumstance, sing freedom, and power, and wisdom and grace; Now let every moment be filled with praise.
I see you, I see you all around, my eyes have been opened my joy is profound. I see you, I see you dear Lord up above, I see all around me your grace and your love. I see you, I see you how can I express, my gratitude, my joy, my thankfulness. I see you dear Lord in everything, and Lord I thank you, your praises I sing.
The Lord is speaking to me, through me. What amazing messages are coming forth. I am in awe.I have to rest now, all this joy and inspiration and creativity is wearing me out! That is the irony of CFS. But as the songwriter says...
"It won't always be like this, The Lord will perfect that concern in me and sooner or later it will turn in my favor, it's turning around for me".
PS : The full set of affirmations are online at ... https://1drv.ms/p/s!Apsn95jlF3VVc8QXTvVlANePBAI
I hope you will find something in it that speaks to you.
Bless you my friends.
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