an exercise in typing......
i did something to my computer.....a wrong thing. ohhhhh my. i think i hope i pray it's fixed now. i had a bill from a doc office, it said i could pay online. so i went to the EASY pay website they offered. it was not easy, it led to some kind of bad business, i accidentally sent my computer to a different primary site and google was gone. it was not a good search engine and it freaked me out. also i noted that my computer can now talk, outloud, this may have come about with all the updates this month. but everytime i try to ask it a question it says it can't hear me.....do i need to learn how to sign in order to communicate with my deaf computer or ??? so confused.
i have a book for sign language somewhere......yes, i'm kidding.........about the signing, not about the computer problems.
i finally gave in and took two pain piills after a late breakfast. i am lucky to have them to take sometimes. they are the reason i get nauseous and throw up.....so i don't like to take them much. but the pain levels were high and i was about to cry so i said take them girl, get some sleep. slept until 2:00, then laid there listening to the rain. took another half hour of stillness before i could get up. the mind trying to hold onto the pleasantness of the water droplets coming down, down, down......before anything else crept in.
the pain that gropes my muscles, the thrumming in my back....another muscle below the waist, which i sometimes think is a new organ that grew into my lower quadrant strictly to serve as some kind of metronome pain device. accccck, sorry officer i'm a complainer today.
it's pretty out there......i love the bright green moss at the back of the property.....outlined by sepia leaves. is sepia right? a certain kind of brown?
sorry for wandering this way and that.....put on some actual clothes for a change. dark teal capris, a vivid blue t shirt....a yellow cotton cardigan......hair in a pony tail like a 50's teen ager.....blue skid free slipper socks...a freshly washed face completes the ensemble.....
stiff, cranky in general.....but moving about. i think i can watch tv in the living room for awhile, imagine sitting up. wowie wow wow wow. bills are paid, got my 2018 sticker for my car......the geezermobile passed her emissions test! GEEZ is now 15 years old with only 60,000 miles on her. she's been a mighty good car.......a rolling living room is easier on the joints, has a higher rise so it's easier to get in and out of.....so while not a very sexy car, it's solid, it's a safer feel while out and about but not a land yacht......celebrating my PFC. PFC = PAID FOR CAR. for the record, she still looks really good! and she rides nice! when my dad would say that she (his car) rides nice we all knew that was high praise indeed!
i have a ton of emails, not bragging at all.......most of them are junky stuff.....but i am very behind. i haven't opened a delivery i got a week ago, it's a dhurrie rug i found online........an 8' x 10' area rug someone was selling for only $45. i was pretty excited, but remain to tuckered to cope with the opening, unfolding, moving things around.
ohhhhh, something interesting did happen, debbie, the lady who cleans my house called to invite me to come with her to a state park and stay in a cabin for two days mid February. it's very close to where we both live......and should serve as a great break. she said she read about a need for someone to clean these cabins so she responded to the ad. well......says she, the cabins are very nice......two bedrooms, a big screen tv, comfy furnishings......nice kitchen, deck, with a fire pit out back overseeing the water. she got a deal.....buy one night get one night free. she thought we could take limited food.....snacks, hot tea, etc.......and get steak dinners from a place called FATZ to eat in the cottage. she comes to clean on the day we go, then she said she could drive us over there.......or i could follow her. an amazing thing really.........kind of cool random fun thing to look forward to.
now i'm trying to remember if she got the cleaning gig there or not? sheez, not sure.......hope so! the park is called ......um, starts with a V........come on Ruthie. you can do this.....but apparently not now.
i was thinking......how much better in someways i am doing but comparing other things where i am not doing as well.....comparing and contrasting........this journal reeks brain fogginess......i'm looking at a picture of my lovely niece Jessica surrounded by her SIX children and can't remember any of their names......except Phineas. one out of six........well well well. i still remember that neuro telling me i was too young to have anything wrong with my cognitive abiliities, not one whit of interest in looking at my CFS/Fibro brain.......but i also remember a sleep study director pointing out the fibro in my sleep study. some are interested in learning about us and others.......well they only seem to say we're not tall enough for their ride.......so there we stand, little tired faces pressed into the glass longing for more life, for better days and nights..........all this longing. where do we put it?
enough.......i'm feeling lonesome today, i can see it all over this journal. i made some rice crispy treats yesterday, want one??? or two???? hugs, ruthie
thank you for sharing about you........as i read i pray for you, for your lives and needs and wants and dreams. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo