An Early Green Smiley Monday
Hi everyone, I am writing my green smiley early. I am grateful that Hurricane Irene didn't cause too much damage where I live. We got lots of rain and wind but I didn't even lose power. What a blessing. I know Irene was much worse in other regions.
I had a dream last night. In the dream Eddie was about 8 years old & I was getting his school clothes ready since school starting up was around the corner. He was smiling as we looked through the clothes he had outgrown. That is all I remember of the dream. Then I had an epiphany! I realized that life may have dealt me a horrible blow when my 37 year old son Ed passed but life cannot take away the 8 year old he was & that I have memories of. I think Sarah, Andy's mom has talked about that. That we may grieve not only our loss but our time with our kids when they were little but them growing up is what is the natural order of things and not sad for me. Ed leaving for Heaven almost 2 years ago is sad but I still have his memory as a baby, an eight year old etc. and those are not sad memories. Does that make sense?
Love and peace to all.
I had a dream last night. In the dream Eddie was about 8 years old & I was getting his school clothes ready since school starting up was around the corner. He was smiling as we looked through the clothes he had outgrown. That is all I remember of the dream. Then I had an epiphany! I realized that life may have dealt me a horrible blow when my 37 year old son Ed passed but life cannot take away the 8 year old he was & that I have memories of. I think Sarah, Andy's mom has talked about that. That we may grieve not only our loss but our time with our kids when they were little but them growing up is what is the natural order of things and not sad for me. Ed leaving for Heaven almost 2 years ago is sad but I still have his memory as a baby, an eight year old etc. and those are not sad memories. Does that make sense?
Love and peace to all.
Replies
We must look at all the wonderful moments held in our memories. These are happy times to remember. We were lucky to have them now to savor and share. Yes, it is sad but also a precious treat. Peace to you dear mom, Peggy
I like to remember the younger years. Life was simple. I have a collage frame hanging in the hallway with a lot of pictures of differan t times in Mikes life I can now enjoy looking at them and remember what was going on in our lives at that time. A true mothers moment....
Hugs Penny
my memories of my daughter and all the pictures, make me sad but they as you are my memories. even as my daughter grew into a women i still think of her as my little girl always. and it brings tears to my .eyes. it is great you had a dream i don,t dream alot and when i do i can only remember parts of them. she was my only child no grandkids that really bum kicks me. it is nice the extension of your son. wonderful hugs mary ann
Linda, How I would love to be able to relive some of those days when my boys were young and Jason was still with us. What a pleasant dream. Have many many more my friend. Sending love and prayers to you and Ed. Terry
Linda,
Not 100% sure what you mean? I think we grieve for the future more so then the past. The past was a gift and then it was snatched away.The past is what allows us to go on I think. Those kind of dreams and memories that you had are so precious and when those are gifted us it is so hearttwarming. I seldom dream about Richard but I think about him a lot . Hugs, Inga
I\'m so glad you were spared any damage from the hurricane, my friend. So many haven\'t been so lucky.
Yes, our memories are all that we have left and no one can take them away from us. That\'s one of the reasons why I like talking about Jerry. It brings me back to a happier time. I just wish more people would let us talk about our children more.
*Hug* Adrianne
This makes perfect sense Linda. We have millions of happy memories of our children at each age...those are ours forever. I am so glad that Eddie came to you...it isn\'t as good as we want...but it is the best we can have...love to you...Karen
I\'m sure it varies for different people, but I\'ve heard that there is a time in the process of grieving where we can find joy in memories of the person we lost. In the early days and months, we can find only sorrow in our memories, but with time the memories become positive.
It\'s possible this surfacing of good memories is a sign of healing for you...a sign that you are making progress and starting to leave the worst of it behind you.
I very much hope that it is.
Linda, it makes perfect sense. The things you had with your son, here in the flesh, cannot be taken from you. You may have done this already, but it might be a good thing for you to write down in a special journal every memory, dream, etc., that brings him \"in the flesh\" back to you. A type of gratitude journal, see what I mean? I\'m sure you have made albums of pictures, etc., which all help so much.....but to use your own words and quickly jot down something you remember over his years of life that makes you realize he truly was real and here and those things are yours....well, that could be gold. It\'s just a thought, but I\'m glad you had a positve experience come out of that dream!
Becky
Linda, first let me say I am so glad you did not get blown away by Irene and that you faired better than many others in that part of the country. I have tried to call my mom who lives in Philadelphia but all circuits are busy...I will try again tomorrow. What a coincidence that you have come to this conclusion about your dream and memories of Ed while he was younger. I was thinking along these lines as I often do, as I envision Brandon throughout different stages of his growth and realize that I probably would not have grieved his growing up had it not been for his leaving...if that makes sense. I have always thought that growing up is like a death...those little ones are never to be but in our memories, videos and photos..they are only with us for a very short time in these diffferent stages.....we have been blessed to be those vessels who gave them life and nurtured them into adulthood. No one can take our memories from us...not as long as our hearts are beating....Much love to you and your sweet Ed....dale, brandon\'s mom
When my son died, I was given a plaque that read...\"when someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure\". At the time, I hated the thought that my son had been reduced to a memory, it was so painful. I\'m actually ashamed to say, I got rid of the placque because it was given in love,by a dear neighbor, but as we all know, we are not emotionally equipped when such a sudden event occurs that I didn\'t think clearly. Anyway I now think it is a beautiful quote because are memories are treasures and those cannot be taken from us. I love what a fun memory you were able to have of Ed and hope you share many more. Oh how I wish we could turn back time and just relive some of those wonderful times of our children. Sending you love. Robin
I was wondering about anyone on DS that was going through all the scariness of Irene, so I\'m glad to know it was not so bad for you, and many others, too. And thanks for sharing your thoughts about our memories--I was feeling so much pain today, missing my boy, but now for tomorrow I am going to perhaps jot down some memories. At one time I tried to get family members to do this, but nobody did anything. I had wanted to make of book out of peoples memories. Well, maybe one day that will happen. love, Margery Ann
Linda, how fortunate you are to have so many wonderful memories of Eddie! No one can take those away. Just like no one can take him from your heart either.
When I was first bereaved, I felt the need to write down absolutely everything I could remember. I was afraid that, over time, I\'d forget somehow...the little things...I felt almost panic-stricken over that...
Writing it down didn\'t take very long...considering how very young they were when they died--
What is interesting to me though, is what happened to my attitude toward \"memories\" over the years. It changed quite drastically the more I was able to let go of who they were and embrace who they are now (SO much more advanced!). Michael died the day after he finally mastered potty training!
Now I\'m more likely to think how \"beyond that\" he is now and gain more comfort from thinking about him being restored and renewed than I ever did before! Maybe that is an age related grieving difference --with those of us who lose their very young children and those that lose their adult children.
I am so glad that your surroundings were not affected much by that horrible Irene. She was one bad lady! :-)
Love+Hugs,
Donna
\"Looking through the clothes that he had outgrown...\" This is packed with so much symbolism and perhaps you will be pondering what this means for you and for Eddie... For me, when I have \"outgrown\" a thought form or even how I feel in my own skin the shedding process begins so that I can make room for the new growth. This dream is actually such a beautiful gift on your grief path, Linda. Allow it to inform you and unpack it gently. Thinking of you as you near Ed\'s angel anniversary and know that I am walking right alongside you. Thankful you were spared from Irene and my dad has been without power since yesterday morning on Long Island. I will be checking in with him bright and early this A.M. Thank you for sharing your grateful heart. Much love, Joanie
Linda, It makes perfect sense! I too had an epiphany moment when I looked at a picture of Michael. I could actually feel myself back to that time and enjoying the moment. I\'m so glad you had a dream about Eddie. What a blessing! And I agree with everything Robin said. Memories are our treasures that cannot be taken away from us, cannot be removed from our hearts. hugs, love and peace, Roselle