Ambivalence
I awoke this morning with a sense of nothingness. I am ambivalent. I am afraid of ambivalence because it leaves me open to mood swings. I don't know why I am this way. It just seems if I don't wake up with a mind- set that what ever happens may change my mood. I have never been able to just be ambivalent all day.
I was a little upset at my hubby last night. After a weekend of drag racing he didn't feel well last night and we didn't get any time together this weekend. I know I can't be mad, it's not his fault he got ill but I blame him for putting us "off" until tomorrow. Well tomorrow is a dangerous place to live. I keep telling him that. Maybe someday he will get it.
Anyway, in the mean time I will try to remain strong mentally. I will try to tell myself it's me. Somewhere in me there is something wrong. Hopefully I can be positive instead of negative.
I was a little upset at my hubby last night. After a weekend of drag racing he didn't feel well last night and we didn't get any time together this weekend. I know I can't be mad, it's not his fault he got ill but I blame him for putting us "off" until tomorrow. Well tomorrow is a dangerous place to live. I keep telling him that. Maybe someday he will get it.
Anyway, in the mean time I will try to remain strong mentally. I will try to tell myself it's me. Somewhere in me there is something wrong. Hopefully I can be positive instead of negative.
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