Am I the only "cryer"?
So, I woke up to loud noises. I find dad carrying in huge sheets of dry wall. I ask if he needs help, and he goes ape shit! Starts saying so many nasty and hurtful things about me that I just can't stand anymore. No one see's any type of abuse in this house, but it does happen and I'm tired of never being able to stand up for myself. When I did, that turned even worse. Well I laid my head back down trying not to cry because as my ex Mark says "I cry too damn much". Fuck it, I had huge croc tears comming out of my eyes. Some people don't understand what tears are. The purpose is to relieve emotions of hurt, sadness, rage etc. When I stop myself forcfully from crying it turns into rage and grinding teeth. I'm going to end up in a mental hospital again if something doesnt give soon.
The funny thing is that my adoptive parents were told by a "professional" at the time of adoption (5yrs old) to keep their doors locked at night etc. Because my mental state is very unstable and I would probably end up killing them in their sleep.... HA
No, thats not me. Don't get me wrong I get my phyco thoughts, but I would never carry through. I cry. Am I the only one?
The funny thing is that my adoptive parents were told by a "professional" at the time of adoption (5yrs old) to keep their doors locked at night etc. Because my mental state is very unstable and I would probably end up killing them in their sleep.... HA
No, thats not me. Don't get me wrong I get my phyco thoughts, but I would never carry through. I cry. Am I the only one?
Replies
I cry a lot too in private. I had a bad messed up childhood as well. The best thing to do right now is to move out and get some help and you need strong healthy boundaries from them. I had to do that.... it really helps.
I too have been crying a lot in private, and I had an OK childhood... I don\'t think that\'s the reason, it makes things worse, but I don\'t think that\'s the only factor...
Honestly, I think more people cry privately than they care to admit.
I don\'t think it\'s a problem, and you definitely aren\'t the only one with the thoughts, I think that as long as you don\'t act on them you\'re okay...
If you want to cry don\'t hold it in cause like you said it turns into anger and that\'s far worse than tears.
I\'m here for you if you wanna talk.