Am I losing all my friends?

I am so so sad. I feel like I am losing all of my friends. None of them get Ana (anorexia). It's like I have to chose Ana or my friends. I hung out with my friend Victoria yesterday, and it was like all I could talk about was calories and how great I'm doing and meal plans. She only saw the dizziness that I got whenever I stood up too quick or swam too long. And I feel like I have nothing in common with my other friends here in the real world. It makes me really sad and lonely. On top of that, my really good friend on here isn't doing well and is contemplating suicide. I am so scared for him. I have his number, but I don't know if I am honestly stable enough to help him. I wish that I was. I don't want him to think that I don't care about him, because I SO TOTALLY CARE ABOUT HIM. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm nervous about my doctor's appointment tomorrow too. It's going to be intense. They are going to call me on all of the weight that I have lost. I just want a family, and I feel like losing weight is the only way I know how to get family. But I want it so badly. I'd be 88 lbs if it meant that someone would be my mom. To have someone truly love me for exactly who I am. Forever. That's what I want. ~Tracie