Am I happy

Am I happy no Am I depressed yes Am I trying to get better yes am I failling yes. Am I in rage yes Am I fucking pissed off yes Arrgh I cant take this anymore I just wanna die i just dont feel like i belong in this world my mind is saying sorry Michele looks like your depression wins its now gonna take over my whole body until I become suicidal again. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME ARGH!!!!