Am I crazy after six month I am flirting again.
It's been six months since my Smokey died. I feel like an evil woman flirting with a guy at Legends Bar. It has been on-going for awhile now. My brother Don and I went to Legends last night again flirting with this guy named Bill. This morning I felt so bad that I cried. I feel as if I were a very evil woman flirting with Bill. Smokey was the greatest love of my life. I never met anyone like him. Bill doesn't look like Smokey at all. Smokey was a brunette haired man going gray with the salt and pepper hair color when he died. Bill is blondish. Their birthdays are 3 days apart. How weird is that? I feel as if I am dishonering Smokey cause I am interested in Bill. How can that happen after six months? Bill has been separated from his wife for awhile but not divorced. What do you make of the entire thing? I want to be smart about these things. Bill's been the first man I am interested in after Smokey so I want to be cautious about the entire thing. I don't want to make any mistakes. I am not interested in a casual relationship and am a naturally born worrier. I chew things right down to the bone and into dust then put it in a blender again. I hate doing this thing like thought obsessing till it turns into dust. I know my brother Don and friend Carol both say to go with it. I do not have to ask them at all. Actually the whole things is pretty scary for me. I have been with one man for ten years. I am so out of the whole thing. Every thing about dating again is absolutely frightening for me. Has anyone gone through all this and any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.
Replies
I think one of the things that makes us human is the abiltiy to love many people in our lives and all at the same time.
If you have found somebody your interested in, go for it. Just because you have a drink or dinner with somebody doesn\'t mean you don\'t love Smokey anymore.
I\'m happy for you and it gives me hope.
It means you are alive and healthy. You don\'t have to get into a deep relationship if you are not ready. Friendship is a great start. I was at the gas station the other day and a man struck up a conversation with me. I will chat with anyone if they are friendly and pleasant. My daughter was laughing when I got back in the truck, so I asked her what was wrong with her. She said mom, that guy was flirting with you! I realized when she said that she was right. Made me feel good. Mary Anne
You say \" Bill\'s been the first man I am interested in after Smokey\" that says something eh?
You have nothing to feel guilty about, but the feeling happens to a lot of us when we meet someone and feel happy. First, remember Smokey love for you is still alive. A big part of that love is wanting you to be happy. I started dating after losing my husband and I had the same feelings of dishonoring Don. Now I am at peace with it. As someone here described it and I have \'stolen\' their idea; I feel like I have two hearts. One has a hole in it and it is raw and painful because of my love for my husband who is gone. The other heart is healthy and beating happily because someone cares about me. One has nothing to do with the other one. The secret is to keep them in balance. On the days you miss Smokey, it\'s okay, you can be sad. But celebrate your life with the all the happiness you can grasp. Sharon