Alone Forever?

I sit here on a Saturday night and my son is at the movies with his friends and my daughter is working, then staying at a friends and I wonder what I will do when they are gone:(  I have raised them by myself for 10 years now and it scares me.  It scares me because they are my world and what will I do without them.  I thought by now that I would have been tucked in for the night safe and secure with a husband like all my friends, someone who would break the fall of the empty nest.  Instead after 10 years of dating and crappy relationships I am still in the same place I started....alone. 10 years of dreaming and hoping and wishing and being sure my time must surely come.  In the daylight it is easy to be confident, optimistic and full of hopes but by night the loneliness creeps in and its hard to celebrate my independence.  I just want to be cuddled up with someone watching a movie or out drinking red wine and sampling some exotic cuisine or tipsy and sweating on the dance floor up close or even asleep with my head on someone's chest knowing he will wake up with me.  It makes me panic thinking that I may ALWAYS be alone without someone to snuggle up to and I know this is part of what drives me into stupid relationships with unacceptable men.  I know I need to take time to be healthy but what do I do in the meantime....