Allow yourself to grieve no matter how long

The best thing you can do at this point in time is allow yourself to grieve and mourn no matter how long it takes.  This is very important.  If you don't allow yourself to grieve, it will take a very hard toll on your body.  The body never forgets even if your mind does forget.  When my late-mom passed away over 22 years ago, I thought I was healing but a few years later my body remembered.  I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed.  I looked at the calendar and it was the anniversary of my mom passing away.  Like I said, the body remembers even if your mind wants to forget.  I went to grief councelling when my mom passed away.  The councelor said that if you don't grieve and cry, it will come out in your body by getting very sick, angry, and in various other forms.  Crying and grieving is your mind and body's way of coping with your loss.  It is important to do this and allow yourself to do this.  I miss Smokey still.  I cried this morning.  At times, I have a very hard time falling asleep.  It is all part of the mourning process.  I don't want to get out of the bed in the mourning as Smokey is not with me anymore.  The one bedroom apartment belongs to Smokey.  If I had to lose it, it would be mourning Smokey's death all over again.  I hope it doesn't come to this but it very well might unless a miracle of a job or money comes my way.  I am not holding my breath for the money but a receptionist job would be nice here in Canada.