All that fighting..
6 moths only before we began the fighting..The more I loved him, the harder we fought, the more dependant I became..Seeing me cry always made him temperamental, and boy did I cry..They say tears do good to the eye..Mine must be sqeaky-clean..The reason we fought was always the same..i wanted to spend more time with him, he wanted more freedom..Basically this led to those awful situations in which i began reproaching, he would get mad...He wanted me to be calm, more meditative..In return, I wanted him to be more passionate, to call me in the middle of the night, be jealous..
I must have been impossible, and were i better writer, the scenes I would depict could be quite scary...
I must have been impossible, and were i better writer, the scenes I would depict could be quite scary...
Replies
omg...this is almost scary... relationship sounds very similar to mine during those last many months...
what we resist persists. my eyes are SUPER squeaky clean too. (((((((hugs)))))))))))
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
A relationship should be supportive and empowering, not all hard work and frustration.
Seems like as much as you loved him, he wasn\'t really satisfying your relationship needs.
Name it and claim it girl.. If he loved you... there would be nothing he would not work out... Just my oppinion however.. You\'ll be just fine.. this will infact make you wiser next go round...
The two of you really needed to read the books:
\"The Five Love Languages\"
\"Healing the Hurt in your Marriage\"
\"His Needs, Her Needs\"
(and I need to find a good one on bounderies)
You were having some basic marital problems here. And, these may have been resolvable. I suspect that you each spoke a very different love language. You wanted quality time. I am not sure what he wanted... But, obviously not time.
There are 3 levels to love. It sounds like you married during the amore/honeymoon phase. When it wore off, as it always does, you did not move into the 2nd phase which is eros love. That is were you meet key needs of his, and he meets key needs of yours. So, what happens is you each start demanding that your needs be met. This is a very critical phase in a relationship. And, it sounds like this is where the problems started.
Even though you are walking out of the marriage. I would still recommend reading these books. They will let you in on some key steps to have a succeesful marriage. And, they will help you look for someone who shares values that will make a marriage work.
You became a 1st round statistic... make sure you don\'t become a 2nd round one by learning and preparing.
-R