all over the place

man alive I am all over the place.  My journal entries from the morning to afternoon. . heck from one hour to the next change dramatically!   Right now very scared. .. scared of being alone, scared financially, scared of him moving on, scared I will never get over this pain  :-(  :-(

We both are splitting amicably (ish).  It just seems that he is getting over this. . .while I am still (most times) ripped apart at the seams  ;-(  One day, I know we are better off apart. .. .it just sucks so bad . . and everything hurts. ... . seeing him, not seeing him, texting , not texting. . . talking / not talking ..  WTF!  when he is with someone else - it is simply going to destroy me  :-(