All day on the computer
Ha, what a day. Just been here on the computer all day, and enjoyed myself. Got to respond to a lot of post here, read up on some other recovery programes, but mostly just got out of my head for awhile. it was a little cold outside, but the sun was shining all day, so I really didn't miss much. Went to a meeting this morning, and tonight got a food hamper from St Vincent De Paul society. It was so cool too. The people that delivered it asked me if I had a cat. I told them I had two. Then he tells me they have a carrier in the car that they don't want. Funny, I've been thinking of how to get one the last week for when I do take them to the vet. They brought it up and it's great. Looks brand new. I put it on the floor, and Jimmy's already inside checking it out. Sooo nice. The guys are downstairs drinking, and I heard them through the door ordering their dope. So stupid. You could hear them loud and clear. Drinkers really aren't too swift. I sure wasn't. That's how I ended up with such a stupid long record. That's alright. Let them have their so called, " Fun." Carlo's and Dan came close to going to jail just two nights ago for fighting with each other, and heeerrreee they go again. Sorry, but I am happy to not be a part of that. I really don't like being around drunks. I got pissed off at Scot the other night. I lent him eight dollars and he said he'd pay it the next day, which he didn't. I seen him a couple days later and reminded him that he owed me money. He says, "Yea no problem. I'll have it tomorrow." I let it go for another couple of days, and nothing. that kind of thing really pisses me off. I hardley ever lend money, but for some stupid reason I wanted to be nice. Last night i was sitting here and could hear him drinking with the other guys. He was smoking dope and the hallway just reeked. I just sat for awhile trying not to let it bother me, but it did. Finally I got fed up and went down to his apartment, and hammered on the door with my fist. He was sleeping, but it woke him up. Then he opens the door with a baseball bat. Drunks always dream that they can fight or whatnot, but it's all dreaming. I took the bat off him and grabbed him, and asked where my money was. Stupid jerk starts acting like I'm the asshole for wanting my money back. anyway, I just wanted to make my point. I didn't hit him or anything. Then after I come up into my apartment, I'm laying on the couch and here him downstairs. He was making like he wanted me, but he was just trying to save face in front of the others. Not too swift. I flew down the stairs and grabbed him again. He got pretty nice all of a sudden. I still didn't hit him. I can't do that when I know their drunk and just can't fight anyway. So that was the end of that. Just now he sends Dan up with the money. Really, so pathetic. Doesn't even bring the money himself. I know they are sick, but sometimes they need to learn things the hard way. I don't like when people just treat you with total disrespect, and drunks can do that. Scott seems like he's in La, La land anyway. Always telling these stories as if he has all these big bussiness deals going on. Promoting this and that for bands. Last week he was saying it was his birthday comming up, and he was renting a bar, and having this band play, and the mayor was going to be there. Just totally full of shit. I think he tells stories like that because his mind is way back in the past when he could do things. It's probably too painfull for him to be honest about where he's really at in life. Everything he owns can fit into a shopping bag. every night he manages to get drunk somehow, and that's his life. I really don't mind him in a way, I just hate the alcoholism, and what it does to people. So it's been an interesting week so far. Bob came by tonight. He really does like me sober, and treats me, well...not bad for Bob. Asked me if I needed anything, like food or cigarettes. He always says that he'll help me anyway he can as long as I'm trying to stay clean. I like when he talks like that. Makes me feel good. Tomorrow I go to the meeting in Cambridge. That meeting is really good. I get so much out of it, and feel a lot more energetic about recovery. Then I have my step study on Friday, and that's great too. Jimmy has been trying to drive me nuts today. I thought she was finished being in heat, but nope. All day she's been cooing her head off. Rolling all over my computer desk while I'm trying to type. Has this silly glazed look on her face. Such a sweetheart. I never get mad at her tho. Her and Jet have been such a blessing to me. It's a real treat to have them. My friend on here who's husband died was chatting with me here this afternoon. She's doing pretty good. She was singing a song that her and her husband liked. She's holding up pretty good, and looking at the good things she had. She said she got her husbands wedding ring today, and put it on a chain on her neck. She was going through his things taking care of stuff. That's being pretty strong. A lot of people would find that just too hard so soon after the funeral. I'm really proud of her. She's been through a lot, but is keeping her chin up. I'm very happy about that. She's a good lady that's been through a lot in life. This is what I love about D.S. Real people, trying to live. Very happy to be sober right now. Thank you so much Lord, thank you.