all crashing in around me

well, i think i have finnally lost my mind al together. i have put off everything and now it is all crashing in around me. i dont have a job yet. realy havnt been looking very hard, now all the bills are going to start coming in and im realy freaking out. i am in a state of denial i guess. i realy dont know what im going to do. im very nervoius. am having trouble with every part of my life. i cant hardly take it any moore. im losing my mind and i dont know what to do about it. im so afraid, cant get son to do any thing. its almost like im afraid of him. i have reverted back to my old ways. i dont know how much moore i can take. put in app at suppermarket, maybe they will call me. i am inableing my son to do nothing and i dont know how to stop. i realy need help bad. have to go to boyfreinds this weekend, that should be offial as ussual. i am at the end of my rope. i guess ill just get a crap job and try to make the best of it. i hope things start to work out for me but i doubt it. im so negetive. i dont want to be around anyone because im so ashamed of letting myself get in this situation again., cant realy talk to anyone about it. maybe my sister, not boyfreind, thats for sure. im so alone right now and so very scared. all i want to do is eat and sleep. im ahveing very bad dreams, wake up and think they are real. starting to loose touch with reality. im heading for a bad thing, i just know it... so very tired and scared right now..... moore later...