ah..one day
i was not caring, feeling pretty good..i have all these voicemails from him that i saved to keep for my records..but there's like 16 of them, and i had to find one saved msg from someone else among the mix and its just sickening listening to them..skipping by them but still have to ehar him breathe!
he takes me off the mts acct so i cant make changes
but leaves the service in place that i haven't been paying for so they cut the tv
but left the phone and the internet
and i cant make any changes and i cant get new service until i fax in a bunch of shit
spending hours upon hours on the phone with this company
and every time its something different
oh yes this..oh no that..then no to the yes and then..wtf?? then cheeky, rude little boys who are not listening to me..
i have a headache..been on the go since 6 am
its 7 pm
non stop day in and day out..getting tired. i am tired..i dont know what i want
i couldn't help but talk about will with my sis..about serviing him and the way it got to the point..y wasn't he just a good guy, help me when i needed it, y wasnt he just nice about it..and i woulnt have to go to the point! i dont want to do that..
and im on the fn phone again with shaw this time..no one answers the fn phone..i mean..i wish i could start a cable company,..we need a new one here..we only have 2 and they both dont give a shit..well..shaw is better but mts sucks ass
im frustrated
im lonely..miss his loving..fuck..he was so good at it..ah well..i wish i was more open about sex and could just go for it with someone and move on already! dammit..why do i have to be such a lover?
fuck it..he was a dog..a liar..a cheat..a main st bum..one of those guys u were warned about..such a charmer..ahh...fuck it
its just for now..cuz this mts thing..its cuz of the paperwork and stuff
cuz they called me ysrtday askin for extention
that i said no to..he's lying about his mom bein sick anyway..like whats he gonna do? go out there and take care of her? ya right
fuck him..he can kiss my fat ass cuz i know he misses it..hes missin it already..i'll just wear him the fuck down..wear him right out..make him feel liek the piece of shit he is..i guess..in my own way..after dealing with all these abusive ppl in my lifetime..i learned how to turn the tables..
am i fan of it?
no..i dont like to hurt anyone
but..
i do like revenge
and revenge happens on its own..
in time..with infludence
i'm gonna break him right down..from a distance..from the background
with no contact and no..i'm not gonna sit and obsess over it..been there done that
jsut hitting the anger part of my grief
eventually i'll get to forgiveness
i'm almost at pity
felt bad cuz lin said he looked fat, puffy, his hair was growing grey, unkept, when he was always trimmed up, nice cut dyed hair, eyebrows done, good clothes, nice shoes..and now? he's all dying from drink
ah..he had it good, had me..to offer love, caring, support, kindess, even old fashioned love of cooking for him, serving him, all the good stuff life has to offer, the love of family \& children, an open door to family and friends, but he wanted to lie to me, cheat, drink, leave, fuck him then!
he doesn't desrve me
and never did! id otn know how he broke me down like that
i'm starting to feel like myself again
jsut a bit angrier than i would prefer
DEINITELY REACHING MY GOAL! THIS IS MORE PROGRESS TOWARDS NEVER ACCEPTING ABUSE AGAIN..AND NO..IT WILL NOT BE DONE THRU ANGER
he takes me off the mts acct so i cant make changes
but leaves the service in place that i haven't been paying for so they cut the tv
but left the phone and the internet
and i cant make any changes and i cant get new service until i fax in a bunch of shit
spending hours upon hours on the phone with this company
and every time its something different
oh yes this..oh no that..then no to the yes and then..wtf?? then cheeky, rude little boys who are not listening to me..
i have a headache..been on the go since 6 am
its 7 pm
non stop day in and day out..getting tired. i am tired..i dont know what i want
i couldn't help but talk about will with my sis..about serviing him and the way it got to the point..y wasn't he just a good guy, help me when i needed it, y wasnt he just nice about it..and i woulnt have to go to the point! i dont want to do that..
and im on the fn phone again with shaw this time..no one answers the fn phone..i mean..i wish i could start a cable company,..we need a new one here..we only have 2 and they both dont give a shit..well..shaw is better but mts sucks ass
im frustrated
im lonely..miss his loving..fuck..he was so good at it..ah well..i wish i was more open about sex and could just go for it with someone and move on already! dammit..why do i have to be such a lover?
fuck it..he was a dog..a liar..a cheat..a main st bum..one of those guys u were warned about..such a charmer..ahh...fuck it
its just for now..cuz this mts thing..its cuz of the paperwork and stuff
cuz they called me ysrtday askin for extention
that i said no to..he's lying about his mom bein sick anyway..like whats he gonna do? go out there and take care of her? ya right
fuck him..he can kiss my fat ass cuz i know he misses it..hes missin it already..i'll just wear him the fuck down..wear him right out..make him feel liek the piece of shit he is..i guess..in my own way..after dealing with all these abusive ppl in my lifetime..i learned how to turn the tables..
am i fan of it?
no..i dont like to hurt anyone
but..
i do like revenge
and revenge happens on its own..
in time..with infludence
i'm gonna break him right down..from a distance..from the background
with no contact and no..i'm not gonna sit and obsess over it..been there done that
jsut hitting the anger part of my grief
eventually i'll get to forgiveness
i'm almost at pity
felt bad cuz lin said he looked fat, puffy, his hair was growing grey, unkept, when he was always trimmed up, nice cut dyed hair, eyebrows done, good clothes, nice shoes..and now? he's all dying from drink
ah..he had it good, had me..to offer love, caring, support, kindess, even old fashioned love of cooking for him, serving him, all the good stuff life has to offer, the love of family \& children, an open door to family and friends, but he wanted to lie to me, cheat, drink, leave, fuck him then!
he doesn't desrve me
and never did! id otn know how he broke me down like that
i'm starting to feel like myself again
jsut a bit angrier than i would prefer
DEINITELY REACHING MY GOAL! THIS IS MORE PROGRESS TOWARDS NEVER ACCEPTING ABUSE AGAIN..AND NO..IT WILL NOT BE DONE THRU ANGER
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