ah

I think Im actually losing my grip on reality.

My doctor said there wasnt anything he could do for me because he didnt want me on medication. Not for the arthritis but for the depression.

He said ill need to find other ways to cope, so i cry in the shower and resist the urge to go back to how i handled it when i was 16.

My boyfriend has fallen for another one of his friends, this always happens. She hears from him more than I do, and i live next door to him. He thinks taking me to the movies like we're 12 will stop me from asking something more from this relationship. Maybe its time to let go. this further proves that im not enough for him.

This always happens to me.

I just want to cry all the time and I dont know how much longer i can keep it from everyone else. I think my family already knows, but haven't said anything.

The only way i can seem to feel away from everyone else is staying in my room.