again whith the rain

well, they let me down again. dont know why i keeep falling for the same thing. dn not coming tonight, guess he doesnt want his moms presios car to get rained on. must be nice to have that option. just herd a funny sound in my appt. i think im realy cracking up. i know i heard domething. im doubting myself about everything lately. i realy feel insane tonight, j wont call me back. i know he has lots of money probs, but im his mom and it realy hurts. oh well im used to it. im just the doormatt for the worlds feet. i need to somehow get out of this mood im in. oh well, tommorow is another day god help me. im realy sike of the rain. didnt take my effexer today, too nervouis. dn supposed to take me to clinic tommorow so i can register. then ill be thier guinny pig for a while. maybe someone will figure me out some day. ok by for now