after work

I don't know why I haven't totally gotten used to it -

but when work was about to start, I reminded myself to

be self responsible and that kicked me into high ready gear

to do the work. It's a solid 4 hours sprint at doing the work

and although I've been doing it for quite some time now...

it still exhausts me.

I didn't realize how exhausted I was until
I came home and ate lunch.. then showered and dressed

and when I sat down on the couch it felt so comfy that I decided

to snuggle with the blanket/throw and just shut my eyes for a little bit.
PS - 2 hours later I get a phone call wake up call and gosh I had a long hard 2 hour nap.
It was nice - and yet I could have gone for more - but I decided I didn't want to screw

up my sleep schedule for this early evening.

I thought about when I will be in Maryland at times like these when I feel like reaching out - and though I was

tempted to reach out to my therapist to leave a message, I realize that 

I'll have to get along without her and reach out in other ways.

Gosh I worry about my health. I've been having flashes of my mortality lately.

I just have to find ways to keep myself positive and goal oriented so that
I have things to live for - moments of time and benchmarks to reach.