After 5 months people think you should be fine

After five months people think you should be fine or over it now.  How crazy are they anyways?  The people that say these things have never lost anyone in their entire lives.  Grief takes a long time and the closer the person is who died the longer it takes to grieve and get on the road to inward healing.  My husband passed away on November 15, 2009 and every once in awhile it hits me hard.  Monday I watched a show called 8 Simple Rules where John Ritter died in real life.  I cried and have been crying ever since.  It reminded me of how much I miss my Smokey.  Just because we do not cry each and every day, does not mean we still don't miss our partners/persons deeply inside our souls.  I can go out and laugh at something funny.  It doesn't mean I don't miss my Smokey.  I can go out and talk with the opposite sex but that still doesn't mean I don't miss my Smokey.  I go out and admire the opposite sex but it still doesn't mean I don't miss my Smokey.  I can look perfectly normal on the outside but that still doesn't mean I don't miss my Smokey.  I miss my Smokey each and every day.  I just have to learn to live as a widow now.  It is not that easy when my husband was the love of my life.  I have to learn to live as a single woman.  It is almost like a person losing a limb, they still can feel it even though it is not there.  I feel my Smokey all around me even though he is not here.