After 2 yr 2 months still miss my Smokey.

After 2 years and 2 months, I still miss my Smokey.  It is not like it was when Smokey first died but the grief is still lingering.  How can I meet anyone when I compare them all to my Smokey.  Dave is nice but he is not my Smokey.  My heart wants what it wants, which is impossible as I cannot bring my Smokey back to me.  I don't know how the widows and widowers meet someone after one year.  The grief still has its hold on my heart.  He was a good man.  There will not be anyone like Smokey.  I have to be open to possibilities in my life and differences in someone else but they don't have to be too different for me.  
I know I don't want anyone like my ex-husband Gary who was an alcoholic, abusive, critical, controlling, violent and selfish just to name a few of his negative qualities.  I guess it is good to know what you don't want.  He wasn't a christian man either.
I figure this is my last change to find love again.  I might as well get what I want.  I want a christian man, kind, giving, caring, generous person with common interests with me and someone who likes/respects me as well.  I have to like and respect myself as well.  I am finding out the traits that I do want in a man.  Interesting.  Where does someone find a man like this?  I have no idea.  I know I just have to be open to the possibilities and not be in any hurry.  Being in a hurry is where I made my mistakes that is for sure.
Thanks for listening.  I was just thinking of these things and thought I would write them down.  All the best from Diane B.