Admission
Admission. I was feeling lousy because of a social blip earlier today. In the past I have often with the slightest upset, I have often thought about that ‘yet again, there’s yet again another place I don’t fit in, and so I don’t fit in anywhere.’ It’s a pretty big leap of thought that I am now coming to terms with. I’m seeing that I am probably imagining that upsetting thought and that there’s any number of things that could be at play in that circumstance of events. As well a relationship invariably will have its upsetting moments. In ‘significant other relationships' as well as groups.it's, these events that inevitably happen, are not wholey definitive.
The thought really helped me relax and feel better. Does this make sense?
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Finding what fits for you is one of those balance and bouncing ball moments. You're doing what makes sense to help you feel more comfortable in new places, new spaces, and new voices. One step at a time!
Thanks Mid!
nope, it makes no sense, whatsoever, but it works when i work it. for sure, my own social anxiety is not a sensible phenom. so it kinda makes sense that an insensible logic would work better on an insensible phenom.
i think i just gave myself a headache. . .
think i'll go perform a senseless act of beauty.
after this last entry - I've really loosened up in terms of feeling just really comfortable with myself around others too.
It helped me be really laid back.
I came back to my room, after all chores, services and meals and just felt exhausted - I am grateful that I told them
I am 'sleeping in' tomorrow.
Themes for tonight have been that I can get self obsessed over doing all the little things I would hope to do -
on my phone and so it's a surface space that keeps me from thinking about others and avoiding my own realities too -
I realized that - and I don't need to be perfect in my own life for my own wants all the time -
I know others want things their way too - I feel like I am opening up a bit to couple-hood.
It frightens me to smithereens - but it's also like when I am alone (for lack of a better way to put it )
I have a need to be needed - and my feelings develop woefully inside -
I don't know what to do about that - it scares me frankly -
I wish I knew a way to go (a direction in life) - and so I figured out - that I can understand why some
people ask more stable people "how should I live?"
another great epitome. markus questionarius. you're on a roll. roll with it, grasshopper, roll with it.
you already have the answer(s) on, "how should i live?" now to build the self-faith that lets you believe.
believe in yourself.
Thanks Arfie!!! xx