Acceptance? Trust?
I went to my Rheumatologist yesterday for a new IV for my RA because my pain level has been off the charts. Last time I was there, he took xray's of my shoulders because they had really been hurting. He shared both my shoulders were "shot." However, with this new medicine, nothing could be done for at least six months, if I were to do anything.
Needless to say, after the 6hr. IV, I left in tears. Went to work, came home and cried the rest of the night. I have been up since 4:00; crying, meditating, cryin, meditating. The pain gets very old, then the car wreck, and now XYZ...I have cried "woe is me" and have surrendered because I have no idea where to go or what to do.
Then. headed back to bed; stopping to "potty" I picked up my Stillness Speaks book by E.T. and read the following.
Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing. TRUST! i JUST LEARNED ALL ABOUT TRUST WITH MY ACCIDENT AND NOW I AM HEARING TRUST AGAIN! WHAT'S UP WITH THIS???
This is the miracle: behind every condition, person, or situation that appears "bad or "evil" lies concealed a deeper good. The deeper good reveals itself to you - both within and without - thru the acceptance of what is. "Resist not evil" it is one of the highest truths of humanity. ~ Eckhart Tolle
A dialogue:
Accept what is.
I truly cannot. I am agitated and angry about this.
Then accept what is.
Accept that I am agitated and angry? Accept that I cannot accept?
Yes, bring acceptance into your nonacceptance. Bring surrender into your nonsurrender. Then see what happens.
Chronic physical pain (me) is one of the hardest teachers you can have. "Resistance is futile" is it's teaching.
I've read this a million times; but, this morning the "teacher" spoke loud and clear.
Off to bed and hopefully get some rest!
Hugszzzz, Vicki
Needless to say, after the 6hr. IV, I left in tears. Went to work, came home and cried the rest of the night. I have been up since 4:00; crying, meditating, cryin, meditating. The pain gets very old, then the car wreck, and now XYZ...I have cried "woe is me" and have surrendered because I have no idea where to go or what to do.
Then. headed back to bed; stopping to "potty" I picked up my Stillness Speaks book by E.T. and read the following.
Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing. TRUST! i JUST LEARNED ALL ABOUT TRUST WITH MY ACCIDENT AND NOW I AM HEARING TRUST AGAIN! WHAT'S UP WITH THIS???
This is the miracle: behind every condition, person, or situation that appears "bad or "evil" lies concealed a deeper good. The deeper good reveals itself to you - both within and without - thru the acceptance of what is. "Resist not evil" it is one of the highest truths of humanity. ~ Eckhart Tolle
A dialogue:
Accept what is.
I truly cannot. I am agitated and angry about this.
Then accept what is.
Accept that I am agitated and angry? Accept that I cannot accept?
Yes, bring acceptance into your nonacceptance. Bring surrender into your nonsurrender. Then see what happens.
Chronic physical pain (me) is one of the hardest teachers you can have. "Resistance is futile" is it's teaching.
I've read this a million times; but, this morning the "teacher" spoke loud and clear.
Off to bed and hopefully get some rest!
Hugszzzz, Vicki
Replies
It is very interesting that when you are open to the answers you need - or in some cases acceptance when there are no answers - the information readily comes your way. I\'m amazed over and over when I find that in these very trying situations, the solution is always within me.
(((HUG)))
I\'m sorry you are in pain. I\'m sorry because it\'s really horrible and hard. Well done trying so hard to come to terms with it. It\'s good to cry and release the emotions of sadness, anger, frustration.... I think you are very good at finding more peace even if the answer is \'no answer\' xxxxx
Hi Vicki,
Sending you hugs. How difficult to accept what seems unacceptable to us. I am sorry, too. Chronic pain is very tough to deal with.
Hugs,
Shar
Unfortunately, I am having a terrible sinus headache, so I\'m having difficulty understanding what the meaning is ... I\'m accepting that I have the headache, I\'m doing what I can to alleviate it (not working), I am grumpy because that\'s how the headache affects my ability to even try to think. It\'s like there are heavy weights pulling down my eyelids. I have somewhere to go. I\'d rather stay home, but I made a commitment. This headache is starting to make me nauseated. Is this a migraine?
So I accept this pain. I do not like it. I keep hoping it will abate. It does not. I have been in tears at times. But at some point, I get a reprieve.
I cannot imagine how one lives in constant pain. And for that, I am truly sorry to hear of your continued difficulties.
I wish you a pain-free day filled with ease and rest.
((Hugs))
Thanks everyone!
amelah: For me accepting where I am, even it that means not being able to accept where I am, is being non-resistant, now fighting the flow...Hope your headache gets better! Hugszzz, Vicki
Hi Vicki. Yeah, I feel that way with my depression. I accept where I am, even if it means not being able to accept where I am (because I\'d rather be someone else, who doesn\'t have these problems). So by acknowledging: Yeah, this is where I\'m at -- that is the non-resistance, allowing the flow of life. Yes?
It was a horrible day yesterday with the pain. I woke up this morning pain-free and thought: \"Wow. It\'s like night and day. And now I know where that saying comes from.\"
The sinus pressure is starting to encroach this afternoon. I think my place needs a good scrubbing. I like to blame things on the cat, see? ;) But you know I\'m not big on cleaning. I\'ll have to channel your energy and think happy, cleansing thoughts as I pull out the vacuum. :)
Wishing you a better day, too. (((Hugs)))
I too wish you pain-free days, as you would expect all of us to wish you. It is difficult to see the good in this. However, it is not a punishment. You\'ve done nothing \"wrong\"; nothing to deserve this pain. I\'ll go out and project that none of your friends here wish you anything but good health, happiness, and less pain. If we could get rid of it for you, we would.
Much love,
Rich