Abyss

I’m just so sick of it all. I’m trying so hard to be better to feel happy to be alright. And it’s just not happening.!

Meds, appointments, friends, different environments, things that used to make me feel good. Everything just seems to make it worse. 

I can feel myself cracking little by little and I don’t know how to keep from shattering. It’s overwhelming: the urge to cut, to sleep, refuse food, to fall back into the abyss of depression. But I know this time I won’t climb back out. How do I not go back?